Pancake Facts

Bringing you only the most accurate facts on your favourite slabs of self loathing.

[Pancake Facts @PancakeFacts]

I forgot. Fact.

[Pancake Facts @PancakeFacts]

Pancakes are flat. Fact. Flatter than your flat, lifeless abs (men) glutes (women). I don't discriminate. I'm a pancake. Get to the gym and sort yourselves out. It's pathetic.

[Pancake Facts @PancakeFacts]

I hope you have all had the best pancake day ever! May our limited mortal skin and bone made shells be bound by our undying love for egg, flour, milk, maple syrup, lemon and cum.

[Pancake Facts @PancakeFacts]

self harm?
do i self harm?
is it self harm to carry around this fat juicy pussy all day?
then yes, i self harm.

[Pancake Facts @PancakeFacts]

death doesn’t exist to me

[Pancake Facts @PancakeFacts]

Hey, can you pass the maple syrup?

[Pancake Facts @PancakeFacts]

I’m starting to lose it with this dead end town. Riots on every street corner, drugs being planted on teenagers by crooked cops. Hell just last week my partner was shot out on patrol over on 5th. Man has a wife, kids and now he’ll never walk again. All that for wearing a badge.

[Pancake Facts @PancakeFacts]

#pancakefactswillreturn

[Pancake Facts @PancakeFacts]

i have been unleashed from the bindings of morality. my thirst for blood is unquenchable. happy pancake day

[Pancake Facts @PancakeFacts]

i’ve lost all sense of time, there is nothing left but my feral instinct to kill

[Pancake Facts @PancakeFacts]

Did you know that Adolf Hitler used to eat pancakes while watching One Tree Hill?

[Pancake Facts @PancakeFacts]

You say pancake, I say facts. Pancake. Facts. Pancake. Facts. Pancake. Facts.

[Pancake Facts @PancakeFacts]

What’s your favourite topping?

[Pancake Facts @PancakeFacts]

OOOOOOOOOHHH SHIT, DID YOU DUMB ASS MOTHERFUCKAS FORGET ABOUT YA BOI? THIS IS MY DAY.

[Pancake Facts @PancakeFacts]

And the winner is... CUM. Thanks for playing, tune in again next year for the chance to get royally blasted with only the purest facts #pancakefactswillreturn

[Pancake Facts @PancakeFacts]

For after all, you are nothing but a worthless skin sack. Full of rotting organic material. Hurtling through the infinite vastness of space, having found yourself on a spherical rock by some sort of tragic cosmic coincidence.

[Pancake Facts @PancakeFacts]

What a day we’ve had. Pancakes consumed. The sweet nectary taste, momentarily distracting you from the pointlessness of your existence.

[Pancake Facts @PancakeFacts]

@realrorylewis Semen. I believe we’ve established this.

[Pancake Facts @PancakeFacts]

Here’s a great recipe for this evening, originating from early 20th century France:

1. Mix the batter (2x whisked egg, 3/4 cups milk)

2. Pre-heat the oven to 240c for 10 minutes

3. Put your head in the oven

4. Die

[Pancake Facts @PancakeFacts]

What’s your favourite topping?