Ali Parr

internet woman. words @ mental floss, reductress, bustle, sherman ave and more

[Ali Parr @ParrtyCat]

I'm not getting in a self-driving car until we can figure out how to prevent automatic toilets from flushing while you're still using 'em

[Ali Parr @ParrtyCat]

I logged back into Twitter for the first time in a month for this, totally worth it

[Ali Parr @ParrtyCat]

People on house hunters are crazy acting like they "can't possibly use this kitchen" with the current countertops

Bitch I have never in my life had marble countertops and have yet to starve to death

[Sam Morril @sammorril]

Dan Campbell drawing an 18 in blackjack: “hit me.”

[Ali Parr @ParrtyCat]

niners at halftime went hard on this shit

[Roger @iamtherog]

Saw this ad for a pizza place on Cape Cod called Pizza Shark the other day and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since.

[Los Angeles Chargers @chargers]

soo hungry need to find my wife and head to pf changs

[Ali Parr @ParrtyCat]

The hijackers would've hit that

[Ali Parr @ParrtyCat]

@wholemilkbitch ooh thank you for the warning I was gonna check it out!

[Barstool Sports @barstoolsports]

Jimmy Johnson is steaming mad https://t.co/oBciq0kHk8

[Ali Parr @ParrtyCat]

And now here I am on Twitter? Like if this ain't a cry for help idk what is

[Ali Parr @ParrtyCat]

Deleted Instagram and now I'm just wasting my time on LinkedIn instead like wtf

[Rich Eisen @richeisen]

Never change, Gardner Minshew.

Never change.

[Ali Parr @ParrtyCat]

Can someone please give me a job I like having food to eat I know classic millennial

[Ali Parr @ParrtyCat]

lol

[Lindsay Jones @bylindsayhjones]

We have a million NFL feeds and none dedicated to halftime corgi races? What are we even doing here.

[John Breech @johnbreech]

What a WILD HAIL MARY by the Bears! Darnell Mooney was sitting on the ground with THE BALL IN HIS HANDS, but he couldn't hang on to it. #Bears #Browns

[Ali Parr @ParrtyCat]

Nothing makes me more nervous for this Colts game than all 3 of the pregame show guys picking them to win 😬

[Pardon My Take @PardonMyTake]

Brandon Staley on onlyfans next week after getting fired
https://t.co/urw8hQyMBo

[Ali Parr @ParrtyCat]

Does anyone think I'd be a good cat trainer cause I'm seriously considering it

[Ali Parr @ParrtyCat]

So it seems like Twitter is not gonna ever bounce back to it's former glory so I am gonna skedaddle on out of here once and for all! But this is basically the only social media I use for networking so if anyone is looking for a dumb writer or editor please hit me up!!

[Ali Parr @ParrtyCat]

Also open to suggestions for a career change bc AI is taking all the jobs and I hate it