Twisty Lizard

starting at delusion, trying to find my way to madness starting with a game of tag ;p #LoveLetters #YouAreNotAlone

[Twisty Lizard @Passbee42]

Feeling those butterflies in your stomach? 🦋 That fluttery vibe when excitement and nerves collide; whether it’s a first date, a big moment, or just life’s little thrills. Embrace the chaos, it means you’re alive! #ButterfliesInTheStomach #LifeVibes

[Twisty Lizard @Passbee42]

🦎🦃 BREAKING: Denver lizards have declared a STATE OF GRAVY EMERGENCY. Cousin Greg molted into the mashed potatoes, Aunt Sheila summoned a cranberry portal, and the turkey is now unionizing. If your Thanksgiving didn’t include at least one reptilian ritual, was it even spiritually nourishing?? #TwistyLizard #ThanksgivingChaos #GravySummoning

[Twisty Lizard @Passbee42]

Denver job market right now is so dry even the lizards are dusting off their resume and still getting left out in the cold 🔥🦎 #TwistyLizard #DenverEconomy #LizardProblems

[Twisty Lizard @Passbee42]

@iyoushetwt The built in python2 editor ... I don't even remember if it had a name

[Twisty Lizard @Passbee42]

Denver really said ‘extended summer’ and my lizard brethren are THRIVING. Sunbathing in 78° like it’s a federally protected ritual. If fall lasts any longer we’re declaring this a warm-blooded utopia. #DenverWeather #LizardLife #StillNotCold

[Twisty Lizard @Passbee42]

@zivdotcat That’s why I never lock it. Helps me stay honest and accepting of how lazy I am ☺️

[Twisty Lizard @Passbee42]

About to host this event and my lizard nerves are FRIED 🦎💀 I’m out here rehearsing greetings like ‘hello humans’ and trying NOT to flick my tongue every 3 seconds. If I accidentally shed mid-speech just pretend it’s part of the program pls

[Twisty Lizard @Passbee42]

bro WHY is symmetry so satisfying?? like my brain sees two matching sides and goes “YES FATHER, I AM HOME.” meanwhile the lizard people in DIA are out here ALIGNING THEIR SCALY SHOULDER BLADES PERFECTLY AT 90° just to maintain cosmic balance. if anything in my room is off-center I will simply ASCEND INTO THE SUN.

#SymmetrySavesLives #GeometricGremlins #LizardMath #DenverDimensionGate

[Twisty Lizard @Passbee42]

Trying to catch a flight out of Denver but every airline is like “lol no.” ✈️❌

Meanwhile the real reason for all these cancellations? The lizard council under DIA is “running simulations” again. Bro just let me fly, I swear I won’t tell anyone about the glowing tunnels.

#DIASecrets #LizardPeople #MileHighMisery #TravelChaos

[Twisty Lizard @Passbee42]

being a lizard person in denver means pretending you’re cold-blooded when really you just want a patio seat and a hazy ipa #LizardInDenver #CraftBeerCrisis

[Twisty Lizard @Passbee42]

@ThePrimeagen aren't those like.... non profits?

[Twisty Lizard @Passbee42]

@DENVERSWEATHER feel so blessed to be getting so many posts from you today. Almost as blessed as enjoying this bomb fall denver weather!! 🍂

[Twisty Lizard @Passbee42]

Every Denver brewery has the same energy: 12 friendly bartenders, 4 dogs, 1 guy explaining hops like it’s philosophy, and me—absolutely thriving. 🍺🦎 #Denver #CraftBeer

[Twisty Lizard @Passbee42]

@XZest0 obviously ... we continue working our way to madness my friend

[Twisty Lizard @Passbee42]

today’s forecast: 87% chance of lizards fighting over ice cream sundaes.
reminder: you cannot stop them.

[DENVER’S FUCKING WEATHER @DENVERSWEATHER]

DENVER WE ARE IN FOR SOME MAJESTICALLY BEAUTIFUL AUTUMN TEMPERATURES THIS WEEK, TRULY WONDROUS, FUCKING DELIGHTFUL, MAY US ALL FIND THE SPACE TO FROLIC IN THIS SHIT

SUN: 79° (YAY) 38° (BRRR)
MON: 59°/44°
TUE: 76°/41° BEAUTIFUL
WED: 66°/46° VERY NICE
THU: 66°/39° YES
FRI: 64°/44°

[Twisty Lizard @Passbee42]

every colorado sunset looks like god spilled a strawberry milkshake on a mountain and said “yeah that’s fine.” #ColoradoMagic

[DENVER’S FUCKING WEATHER @DENVERSWEATHER]

DENVER WHO KNOWS HOW MANY 70-DEGREE DAYS WE HAVE LEFT WE MUST TREASURE THESE LIL' GUYS WITH OUR WHOLE HEART WE MUST CELEBRATE THEM FOR THEY WILL NOT LAST.

YOUR FUCKING WEEKEND:
FRI: 65°/42°
SAT: 72°/48°
SUN: 71°/45°

[Twisty Lizard @Passbee42]

lying awake watching my thoughts spiral down the drain like they’re late for a cosmic whirlpool convention #insomnia #chaosbrain

[Twisty Lizard @Passbee42]

Woke up with a hangover so bad the lizard people in my ceiling started clapping. One hissed ‘it’s only Wednesday, my dude’ and vanished into the drywall. #sendhelp #hydrationritual #scalysupervisors

[Twisty Lizard @Passbee42]

@mannupaaji I’m lowkey already stuck due to being too lazy to move my passwords