dylan

🐎

[dylan @PastaCereal]

Do house plants have spirits that actively fight off ghosts?

[dylan @PastaCereal]

Crab rangoon ✅
Goth girl ✅

[dylan @PastaCereal]

Ramen noodle up my nose

[dylan @PastaCereal]

I fill my pockets with clementines.
I go out for a walk.
I eat the clementines.
I follow the trail of peels back.
I get home safe.

[dylan @PastaCereal]

50% dank
50% fresh laundry

Great smell combo.

[dylan @PastaCereal]

Bring back primate Twitter

[dylan @PastaCereal]

I can get home from work. Take a nap. And it’s still bright out. Lit.

[dylan @PastaCereal]

Gonna grow a tiny mustache and become a pottery man.

[dylan @PastaCereal]

@themostsadboyyy Take the high road, king.

[dylan @PastaCereal]

Kmsmyself

Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary

[dylan @PastaCereal]

Is it too late to give something up for lent?

[dylan @PastaCereal]

No croutons. Sad.

[dylan @PastaCereal]

🤠

[Gators Daily 🐊 @GatorsDaily]

ur just gonna scroll on by without saying howdy?

[dylan @PastaCereal]

Why tf my parents car smell so dank.

[dylan @PastaCereal]

Daddy got a new glock
Daddy got a new glock

Eyyyy eyyyy
yuh

[dylan @PastaCereal]

@themostsadboyyy 👑

[dylan @PastaCereal]

Full circle

Kinda redundant if you think about it.

[dylan @PastaCereal]

Nothing hits like a good cup of tea

[dylan @PastaCereal]

Use chat GPT to apologize to your gf for getting drunk at the bar.

[dylan @PastaCereal]

I don’t want to respond to text messages.
I want that small hit of dopamine from watching Instagram reels.

[dylan @PastaCereal]

@themostsadboyyy It’s not too late