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[derek guy @dieworkwear]

It's a spectator sport in that this administration is only good at producing spectacles. You are a natural fit because you're not a real athlete, just an influencer who's also good at producing theatre. The administration is using you to distract from a foreign war that has made life more expensive in the United States. You are happy to participate because you have no real beliefs outside of self-promotion and making money.

[𐕣🧛🏾 @doyenmxn]

there is no stronger human bond than two strangers realizing they both witnessed the same weird shit in public

[Tommy Vietor @TVietor08]

This joke would kill at middle school

[tweet deleter @BrittanytB]

When pets use pillows as pillows

[𝒿ℴ𝓁𝒾ℯ𑁤 @julyameixa]

"As crianças de hoje em dia precisam ver YouTube no carro para não ficarem entediados"

Eu com 7 anos quando minha gota de chuva favorita perdia a corrida na janela:

[C. R. Wiley @crwiley1962]

I’ve been waiting for a goose to be taught a lesson by a little kid.

[JtheFrog @JtheFrog0]

Bro what the fuck is the US even about???? This looks like an SNL skit

[wicked wigger of the west @Nick_Cerveza]

It's fucking 2026 man the breakfast menu should be available all day. You never know what someone is going thru

[道枝ウサ @tigaimashunsuke]

みんなの仕事でミスして死にたくなった経験を教えてください。まず私からね。入社1週間で社内のシステム壊して、丸2日間、全社員(300人)が常時使うソフトを使えなくさせたよ。対戦よろしくお願いします。おやすみなさい

[Goddess🥀 @Swit_zee]

Old people watching you pass without greeting them

[j @pasteIgems]

@cookiehooligan @AlexeyGurevich @tomaouad i would replace Itaewon with Seochon or Euljiro

[‏ً @omgsidewalks]

I actually do like people. Individually. Y’all get questionable in bulk.

[mika @mikasagrada]

como eu me sinto quando a pessoa que eu gosto me envia fotos do que está fazendo sem eu pedir

[Grace Jarvis @gracejarvisohno]

I need train companies to stop pretending they have wifi - you don’t! that’s okay, just stop acting like it’s a possibility

[anna !!! :)) 🇵🇸🌸✨🌸🇵🇸 @frogs4girls]

the thing about 18-22 year olds is that you’ll tell them you’re 28 and they react like you just told them you killed a man in salt lake city in 1999 and never got caught

[u. @bu1tercup]

bdsm ( been depressed since march 2020 )

[FactPost @factpostnews]

Bo and Sunny Obama romp around the White House grounds in 2013

[miya @miyarah_]

"los jóvenes son la generación de la tecnología"

yo intentando borrar una página en blanco de word

[Barack Obama @BarackObama]

Yesterday, we lost a cherished member of our family.

We got Sunny at the start of our second term in the White House, and all of us – including our first dog, Bo – immediately fell in love. We also had trouble keeping up with her, for Sunny was a force of nature. Athletic and full of boundless energy, she leapt over the hedges on the South Lawn like they weren’t even there, chasing squirrels, birds and anything else that moved. And whereas the way to Bo’s heart usually involved a treat, Sunny was more interested in having us run around with her, roll on the floor with her, or have her belly rubbed for as long as we were willing.

She loved the girls, even if they were pestering her when she was napping. She loved our team, and would often follow them around, helping them on the job. She was fiercely protective of Bo, who she rightly sensed wasn’t always as alert and attentive as she was. She had her eccentricities: other than Bo, she preferred people to dogs; she was a loud and sloppy drinker; and despite being a Portuguese Water Dog, she hated getting wet.

But as far as our family was concerned, she was pretty much perfect, and for thirteen years, she would be by our side – always loyal, always sweet, always ready for adventure, still fiery and gorgeous till the very end of her days.

We will miss her terribly, and imagine she’s with her big brother now, making sure he’s okay.

[Fuckin’ Princess @8WithaTiara]

I just cancelled a free trial before the automatic payments kicked in and the adrenaline flowing through me right now feels like I just escaped a high speed police chase