Pat Essman

I'm a 30-something freelance comedy writer. I love it, even though it doesn't love me back sometimes. :D Email: [email protected] Voicemail box: 813-344-1043

[Pat Essman @PatEssmanComedy]

.@carrieffisher!! 😭😭😭😭😭

RIP, baby.

[Pat Essman @PatEssmanComedy]

On a serious note, my young friends need help. Please visit and share the link. Thank you! https://t.co/Ox604dcWvw

[Pat Essman @PatEssmanComedy]

My new ghetto name is Alopecia.

[Pat Essman @PatEssmanComedy]

My friend is sick so she's taking FISH antibiotics. True story.

[Pat Essman @PatEssmanComedy]

Welcome to my home sanitarium.

[Pat Essman @PatEssmanComedy]

#HighSchoolTaughtMe how to fuck on the hood of a Ford Fiesta.

[Pat Essman @PatEssmanComedy]

Everyone please check out @WDFilmmaker's project "No Alternative" which deals with mental illness. https://t.co/2x4y1IixVy Please help!

[Pat Essman @PatEssmanComedy]

@YouTubeDanny Thanks for being my first follower! XO, P

[Pat Essman @PatEssmanComedy]

I bet Michael Phelps only smokes hydro.

[Pat Essman @PatEssmanComedy]

There's no "I" in "team", but there's one in "sangria", so... later.

[Pat Essman @PatEssmanComedy]

I will NOT increase the numbers in any form, of an orange taint who makes fun of a disabled reporter and nullifies 50% of the population.

[Pat Essman @PatEssmanComedy]

This may be against the rules of my craft, but I stand firm on my refusal to follow #Drumpf.