pat

Standing On The Roof, Complaining To The Moon. NineFiveMofucka. Brother of Duke Lilac.

[pat @PatFacks]

How do I become a certified “Ancient Astronaut Theorist”?

[pat @PatFacks]

@tomjc09 We riding

[pat @PatFacks]

@Jared_Carrabis What do you mean we just swept the Yankees

[morganhippie @morgan88877]

Someone smoked DMT out of a puma bone pipe in a cave at 12,600 feet in the Argentine Andes.

In 2130 BC.

That's the oldest confirmed evidence of psychedelic use on Earth — and the hardest thing I've ever typed.

[Murray Hill Guy @MurrayHillGuy1]

Millennials, it's time to choose your midife crisis

1. Date a 23 year old
2. Quit drinking and become insufferable about it
3. Double down on drinking
4. Train for a marathon nobody asked about
5. Have a panic baby (with wife you hate)
6. "We're opening the relationship" (she bangs)
7. Get divorced
8. Get diagnosed with adult ADHD/autism
9. Niche side quests like rock climbing, hyrox, gardening, handstands

[Liam Fennessy @LiamFennessy_]

Embarrassing stuff

[greg @gandalf_thegreg]

toddlers to people with deformities in the grocery store

[pat @PatFacks]

Like 02-09 was the golden age of music and ill die on that hill

[Gain of Fauci @DschlopesIsBack]

Every single World Cup tourist after spending a couple of days in America.

[pat @PatFacks]

@Ihartitz The bobcats pelicans hornets is a fun one

[pat @PatFacks]

I could also move up to camp and just live in the woods of maine with my dog. That sounds cool too.

[pat @PatFacks]

I needta do something with my life im getting bored af

[Mr Jamie @mcnicollme]

@AzPetrich It gets worse …

[Zack Cox @zm_cox]

Shoutout to the guy wearing a Nate Ebner jersey in the middle of the Morocco fan section.

[Fran @frabigol]

Estamos perdidos, Estados Unidos aprendió a jugar al fútbol. Es el fin del deporte tal como lo conocemos, quedan máximo 10 años sin que sean campeones de todo y cambien las reglas para que entren superheroes de Marvel a dar publicidades cada 15 minutos. Aguantamos lo que pudimos.

[Benny Boy @Camel_Crushin]

You’re not driving an 18 wheeler. You’re driving a Hyundai Santa Fe. Make that right turn and let’s get fucking moving.

[Papii🥤 @ammalusty]

Back in my day you could go to Walmart at 2:00am and buy a shotgun and a live lobster

[bug girl @buggirl]

in nature if a monkey hoarded 1 trillion bananas the other monkeys would beat that monkey to death and take his bananas

[pat @PatFacks]

@Eldridgeisking Another red sox L

[pat @PatFacks]

Play Bennie and the Jets by Biz Markie