Paul Maloney

Trip McNeely hypebeast | grad school dropout | Dangerous Nights Crew

[Paul Maloney @PaulyWalnuts95]

Wine before beer, sick for a year

Beer before wine, and I’ve been doing just fine, gotta gotta be down because I want it all, it started out with a kiss how did it end up like this, it was only a kiss it was only a kiss, now I’m falling asleep and she’s calling a cab

[Paul Maloney @PaulyWalnuts95]

At the barbershop asking them to cut it mike’s way

[Paul Maloney @PaulyWalnuts95]

Her anger in this scene was real. Elaine Hendrix broke her toe when she kicked the kettle and it fueled her rage.

[Paul Maloney @PaulyWalnuts95]

Shorts are short for shortaloons

[Paul Maloney @PaulyWalnuts95]

Kitty pressing my balls at the urinal to make sure I got all the pee out

[Paul Maloney @PaulyWalnuts95]

Student drivers in the right lane when I’m tailgating them with my high beams on

[Paul Maloney @PaulyWalnuts95]

Not wearing the shirt of the band you’re going to see. Does that also apply to not wearing the pants into the store you bought them from?

[Paul Maloney @PaulyWalnuts95]

@NBAW0RLD24 Jodie Meeks

[Paul Maloney @PaulyWalnuts95]

Absolute domination

[Paul Maloney @PaulyWalnuts95]

I doubt many will agree but I think a hot glass of water after shoveling the driveway is better than the ice water after mowing the lawn

[Paul Maloney @PaulyWalnuts95]

Irish exits really pump my nads. There’s something so thrilling about abandoning those who love and care about you

[Paul Maloney @PaulyWalnuts95]

Me every time i rewatch Broad City

[Paul Maloney @PaulyWalnuts95]

@travisbarker

[Paul Maloney @PaulyWalnuts95]

Tupperware tops are the socks of the dishwasher. How am I missing half of them

[Paul Maloney @PaulyWalnuts95]

BRO WHAT? Is RG3 allowed to say that?

[ben doyle @thewheatgerm]

shoutout to the german guy on this flight who used google translate to ask me if he could have a turn on my nintendo switch and then just straight up used it for the rest of the flight. i didn’t know you could do that

[Paul Maloney @PaulyWalnuts95]

Fred Armisen could do Split but James McAvoy couldn’t do EuroTrip

[Paul Maloney @PaulyWalnuts95]

I am very ready for this conversation

[ʰ @easterngoblin]

Yall not ready for this conversation

[Paul Maloney @PaulyWalnuts95]

PSA: the new Miley Cyrus album is incredible

[Paul Maloney @PaulyWalnuts95]

Hugo Weaving quietly had one of the greatest decades of all time and we dont talk about it:

The Matrix 1999
LOTR Fellowship 2001
LOTR Two Towers 2002
Matrix Reloaded 2003
Matrix Revolutions 2003
LOTR Return of the King 2003
V for Vendetta 2005
Happy Feet 2006
Transformers 2007