Peeta

Comedian & Commentator • Nostalgia & Film • Follow Christ - I'm gonna do the thing that I do

[Peeta @PeetaProduction]

YESSSSSSS JEEEESUS LOVES
MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

YESSSSSSS JEEEESUS LOVES
MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[Peeta @PeetaProduction]

How do you give dating & romance advice to your friend who is in disbelief of your experience with women, but you're at a stage in your life where you don't want to chase any yourself?
How do you prove to your friend you had a hoe phase without proof?

[Peeta @PeetaProduction]

How to be a cat:

1 - Be incredibly pissed off for no reason

2 - Eat & take a nap

[Peeta @PeetaProduction]

Woman who goes to sleep drunk every night explaining sociology to me

[Peeta @PeetaProduction]

The door to door salesman is ruining dinner time

[Peeta @PeetaProduction]

@Sheer__Opulence What are they even doing

[Peeta @PeetaProduction]

This is fucking regarded

[Slick @NickStillHere]

The women that treat men like superheroes and not like actual human beings usually get disappointed often by men

[BIG6️⃣L @taelo_]

Stop hating the entire male population cause you picked a lame ass nigga 😂

[Peeta @PeetaProduction]

Every animal is cooler than any human

[Peeta @PeetaProduction]

You'll be getting lunch with her as friends & then when you go to the bathroom she'll tell the waiter to give you the full check just to see what you do. It's very important you demand to split it because she has made no effort to be your girlfriend.

[Peeta @PeetaProduction]

I love being close friends with women, but if you make any aspect of our friendship depend on what I do for you with my own money, it's over.
Because of this, it's impossible to be friends with most young women.

[yimika| @yimikaaaa]

i like you a lot" ok you literally haven't asked me a single real or meaningful question about myself or my life? you literally don't know anything real about me

[Peeta @PeetaProduction]

Women on dating apps barely have enough room in their life for a man much less a good one

[Peeta @PeetaProduction]

@FrenlyFrenchBoi "If her eyes are always closed around you it means she's not interested. If she uses her eyes to look at you it means she loves you & you have 5 minutes to ask her out before she hates you."

[Vivian @suchnerve]

The love of your life wouldn’t need to be begged for affection.

[Peeta @PeetaProduction]

Stuffing one of your hands into your pants just to let it breath

[Peeta @PeetaProduction]

It's so unattractive when you find out a woman is mad at you because she was into you & you never gave her attention.
Meanwhile, you had no idea she was even aware of your existence until now.

[atlas& @atlasm0m3nts]

someone in psychosis will be like “here is exactly what i need in this moment to feel safe” and people will genuinely respond “um no actually i think you need the opposite :)”
and then act shocked when the person in psychosis doesn’t fucking respond well to that

[Peeta @PeetaProduction]

There needs to be a website where you can type in a celebrity name & it gives you the percentage of probability that they diddle kids

[valentine @valawakened]

Complex trauma survivors often cannot cry when something is actually sad. But they will cry without warning at a commercial, a stranger's kindness, an animal being gentle with a child. The tear ducts are not broken. They just learned that crying at the real thing was too dangerous. So the grief rerouted. It comes out sideways, through whatever crack feels safe enough, because the actual door has been locked from the inside for a very long time.