PE Jocks

Don't follow if easily offended. All for fun. If you’re following via a school account, you might want to rethink your actions

[PE Jocks @PEJocks]

15v15 on the main pitch. Couple of sickly-looking chaps sat shivering at the side. A bench-full of orange coloured girls avoiding badminton. A lad wearing some lent 3/4 yoga pants after forgetting his shorts & his mate with glasses in a size 6 & and a 9. Gives me goosebumps

[PE Jocks @PEJocks]

Dancing horses at the summer games is god awful, but Scottish bowls on ice takes the biscuit. It makes Jackie’s Y11 “Walking” unit look like an Ironman

[PE Jocks @PEJocks]

@hallampepgce Now that man was a PE teacher. RIP Magnum. Very sad.

[PE Jocks @PEJocks]

Why are people so amazed by seeing 12 & 13 year olds winning skateboarding medals? What kind of adult would ride a fucking skateboard?

[PE Jocks @PEJocks]

Do you remember the episode when Uncle Phil got in shape?

[PE Jocks @PEJocks]

@MrMellorPE Even they serve a purpose; you know, feeding the ball. What does a cock do? Row! Go on! Row. Rubbish

[PE Jocks @PEJocks]

Having never been a privileged toff I’ve not done much rowing. But imagine claiming to be a cox. Aside from boasting stunted growth & an inability to physically contribute to an activity, what is the point? Absolute bollocks

[PE Jocks @PEJocks]

Now Jackie really has no excuse whatsoever

Scientists have taught spinach to send emails https://t.co/xtUSN7AYdJ

[PE Jocks @PEJocks]

There are plenty of perks to being a professional footballer, but i reckon the no.1 right now is that their barbers still appear to be completely open for business, whilst the rest of us continue our devolution into Yetidom

[PE Jocks @PEJocks]

I’m sorry but after this, there can be NO doubt what whatsoever. He IS 100% a PE teacher

https://t.co/aOVKwOaS6e

[PE Jocks @PEJocks]

The good thing about remote learning during lockdown is that you can deal with most grumbles, queries and complaints about your crap provision with a jumbled explanation including the phrase “...it’s a safeguarding thing...”

[PE Jocks @PEJocks]

Hahaha! 🤣 That’s a beauty! I’d specifically not included you guys but I suppose you’d be the equivalent of temporary admin staff when Brenda the bursar goes off with one of her funny turns

[thejennii @pencils_on_mars]

And heads of ART are now THE HEADTEACHER

[PE Jocks @PEJocks]

#LockdownLessonSoundbites

“Jonny; mute your microphone? Yes and you Thomas. No, you’ve turned your camera off. Right, Roland you’re clearly playing on your PS4. Montgomery? That’s blatantly a cardboard cutout of Lionel Messi in your uniform can you come to your computer please?”

[PE Jocks @PEJocks]

#LockdownLessonSoundbites

“Miss, are those Vodka bottles by your sofa?”

[PE Jocks @PEJocks]

#LockdownLessonSoundbites

“Sir, your decor is fucking atrocious”

[PE Jocks @PEJocks]

#LockdownLessonSoundbites

“Right guys, I hope you can all hear me? I’ve turned my camera off as the light’s not good. Can you all do the 1st question I emailed you please?”

“Sir? We can see you sat in your y-fronts”

[PE Jocks @PEJocks]

Jock High are “restructuring” ie. saving some cash. Teachers will be paid based on their workload & responsibilities during lockdown. All Maths & English staff are being made Deputy HTs. Science, AHTs. Drama & Music Higher Level Teaching Assistants. PE? associate dinner nannies

[PE Jocks @PEJocks]

I think we both know that’s stretching the truth. However, no pressure then eh? For now just chuckle sling at all your kids & parents seeing me call a cabinet minister a twat when they engage with your account? I’ll try harder in future.

[PE Jocks @PEJocks]

@kvillis @CricketAus Chased plenty of eggs & played bat & ball with a loads of you shackle-dragging inbreds; never met a bad un 👍

[PE Jocks @PEJocks]

Said it before and I’ll say it again; I’ve never met an Aussie I didn’t like. But then again, I’ve never met most of the current @CricketAus team

[PE Jocks @PEJocks]

What an odious little twat you are @GavinWilliamson

Read the room eh? Can somebody inspect you seeing as you gave us 1 day’s notice? I mean parents complain when you ask for a reply slip the next morning.

You’re as shit as Gove ever was and equally unpleasant.

[BBC Politics @BBCPolitics]

Schools are expected to provide 3-5 hours of teaching a day during period of remote learning, says Education Secretary Gavin Williamson

Ofsted will inspect schools "where it has serious concerns about the quality of remote education being provided"

https://t.co/sEZM3Cezdq