Perraloco

IT engineer • Amateur writer • Human 👤

Welcome to my alter ego 🎭

[Perraloco @PerralocoSays]

Imagine adding me as a friend because of a halfway intelligent comment I made on a mutual's post and then you see my shitshow of a wall. Welcome mfs.

[Perraloco @PerralocoSays]

My mom just declined my daily walk-from-class-across campus-to-the-bus-stop phone call and sent me that automated "Sorry, can't talk right now" text. Like, what are you doing other than being my mom???? Whaddya mean you're not just my mom and have a life of your own????

[Perraloco @PerralocoSays]

Congratulated an ex on getting married, and this boy really goes, "Could've been you"??????? Aight mister 🤡

[Perraloco @PerralocoSays]

@jokes_peralta 😂😂😂😂

[Perraloco @PerralocoSays]

If you want to know how grad school is going, I just took a pillowcase out of the dryer, put it over my head thinking it was a t-shirt, spent 15 secs inside it searching for the neckhole and then mumbled "what is this, pants?"

[Perraloco @PerralocoSays]

It's colder than a baby mama's heart on her way to the child support office ❄️ #WinterStorm

[Perraloco @PerralocoSays]

@Benadryl really works on the idea that you can't have allergies if you're unconscious. Here's a 5ml shot. Knock yourself out, buddy 🤧
#fluseason #allergies

[Perraloco @PerralocoSays]

My toxic trait is asking "why does God give me the hardest battles" and the battle is an assignment I've procrastinated till the last minute for a degree I willingly chose and begged to get into in the first place

[Perraloco @PerralocoSays]

Grad school will have you treating your body like a plant someone gifted you where you forget its yours for a few days and then go FUCKKKKK and then you over water it and make it go into the sun for 10 mins 🪴

[Perraloco @PerralocoSays]

Being a 24 yo in a business school is wild - my classmate is a 47 yo dude with a wife and kids and we just chill like there isn't a legitimate GENERATION GAP between us. Sweet fellow though 10/10 recommend being his friend.

[Perraloco @PerralocoSays]

@whyvaibhav Relatable max 💯

[Perraloco @PerralocoSays]

"yOu cOuLd'Ve BeEn aBoRteD" bro does it look like I wanna be here?

[Perraloco @PerralocoSays]

@jokes_peralta

[Perraloco @PerralocoSays]

Told my phone addicted niece that when I was a kid we had those old dabba Nokia phones and she rolled her eyes and said "oK wHatEvEr" and now I'm starting to wonder if maybe my father DID cross a river to get to school

[Perraloco @PerralocoSays]

Vecna would probably succeed in killing me because Spotify decided to play a 30 sec ad #StrangerThings4

[Perraloco @PerralocoSays]

Food bloggers and their urge to call every restaurant they visit a "hidden gem" 💎

[Perraloco @PerralocoSays]

Lata Mangeshkar, Sidhu Moose Wala and now KK, that's just one mad concert waiting to happen in heaven #RIP 💔🙏

[Perraloco @PerralocoSays]

@jokes_peralta 😂😂😂😂❤️

[Perraloco @PerralocoSays]

Heard a guy at my doctor's clinic talking to someone on the phone say "Who does this bitch think he's fucking with, I'm from the streets dawg". Then the doctor came in and asked "How are we doing today?" and this dude straight up looks at his mom for her to prompt an answer

[Perraloco @PerralocoSays]

@jokes_peralta 😂💯

[Perraloco @PerralocoSays]

Life is BDSM and I do not know the safe word