Pete Slasher

World champion in Chess, NASCAR, Baseball, Math Genius and the best cook ever - I’ve seen them all. German living in Texas, under the rule of 3 cats.

[Pete Slasher @PeteSlasher]

I would kill for a good mugshot...

[Pete Slasher @PeteSlasher]

@dreitabby #goodfaketexts

[Pete Slasher @PeteSlasher]

@phillipslaton @netflix Dump Netflix shares.
Buy again once they get their shit right.

Morons…

[Pete Slasher @PeteSlasher]

@BradWaldera That’s why it’s called Pho-rgo

[Pete Slasher @PeteSlasher]

@BradWaldera When one isn’t enough…

[Pete Slasher @PeteSlasher]

@RolandGunnTN @KyleKulinski Luckily he cured his alcoholism by jumping into a centrifuge somehow.

[Pete Slasher @PeteSlasher]

@TMZ That song slaps.

[Pete Slasher @PeteSlasher]

@mcuban @davidsirota I had no idea who that Old-Ken looking guy Ackman was until now.
Could have gone without that info.

[Pete Slasher @PeteSlasher]

@BernieSanders I think healthcare corporations should be able to charge as much as they want to give people the privilege to breathe.
After all they spent almost 1/20th in R&D as they spent on stock buybacks.

[Pete Slasher @PeteSlasher]

@CaseStudyQB I’d be okay with a quick quiz consisting out of a few questions. First one “How old is the earth?”

[Pete Slasher @PeteSlasher]

@Southernwineus No…
Don’t take satirists jobs away. What are they supposed to do now?

[Pete Slasher @PeteSlasher]

@magicmind Lol you want me to be interested in your product and show me a talk of literally the dumbest people on this planet?

I’d love love love to meet the one person that this ad convinced.

There is no way they don’t droll and draw the sun with a crayon.

[Pete Slasher @PeteSlasher]

@Fernand46357857 Nazis just so happened to walk into Poland.

[Pete Slasher @PeteSlasher]

@TMZ “This is so LA because everyone is a witch now.”

Umm…no, they are not.

[Pete Slasher @PeteSlasher]

@brucebarry @majorityfm @VanderbiltU @VUChancellor Even if it turns out they are wrong and let him go/apologize etc.
Others will report less (or not at all) and that was the goal here.

[Pete Slasher @PeteSlasher]

@nytimes Can we please get a bunch of men together to make these decisions?
It seems to always have worked so well in the past.

[Pete Slasher @PeteSlasher]

@TCJasquith @MichaelRapaport @AOC lol Alex Jones got it right
Space aliens and gay frogs all day long. The devil coming to take over and schootings are faked so the government can take over.

[Pete Slasher @PeteSlasher]

@RBReich 90% of people drinking Gatorade drink it for hangovers and because they are sick.
Both times hydration is important.

Other than that, how about water?

[Pete Slasher @PeteSlasher]

@ParisHilton Haris Pilton

[Pete Slasher @PeteSlasher]

@OzzyOsbourne @OsbournePodcast @KellyOsbourne @JackOsbourne @MrsSOsbourne @TheOsbournesTV Deep conversations here…

[Pete Slasher @PeteSlasher]

@jimmycarr See you tomorrow. Stay sober!