Pete's New Lows

The life of a man who knows no bottom.

[Pete's New Lows @PetesNewLows]

New low #149: Buying my wife a toilet plunger for Christmas

[Pete's New Lows @PetesNewLows]

New low #19: Shitting in a paper bag outside of a squat in Baltimore in the dead of winter because the toilet broke

[Pete's New Lows @PetesNewLows]

It's been a while. Don't worry, I've been working on some new lows.

[Pete's New Lows @PetesNewLows]

New low #140: For some reason, strippers refused to do coke off of my giant butterfly knife at my bachelor party

[Pete's New Lows @PetesNewLows]

New low #199: Watching internet porn while on hold with the unemployment office

[Pete's New Lows @PetesNewLows]

New low #250: Went to the DMV after a couple beers at lunch and failed my motorcycle test

[Pete's New Lows @PetesNewLows]

New low #108: Getting my nose broken by a bunch of squatters at Hollywood and Highland

[Pete's New Lows @PetesNewLows]

New low #92: Farting out of my dick after my appendectomy

[Pete's New Lows @PetesNewLows]

New low #88: Getting annihilated at a punk bar the weekend before my 21st birthday & passing out in a pile of garbage with alcohol poisoning

[Pete's New Lows @PetesNewLows]

New low #347 - Infinity: Showing everyone my dick...all the time

[Pete's New Lows @PetesNewLows]

New low #52: Going to a whack booth in NM & finding a glory hole inside. Eyeballs appeared and I still took care of business. #HappyNewYear

[Pete's New Lows @PetesNewLows]

New low #142: Taking a shit on the hood of a band we toured with's van in the midst of a prank war

[Pete's New Lows @PetesNewLows]

New low #83: http://t.co/jhfnJgdR

[Pete's New Lows @PetesNewLows]

New low #45: Huffing rubber cement in my friends basement with my balls hanging out and the photo ending up in one of our records

[Pete's New Lows @PetesNewLows]

New low #22: My friends uncovering a tape recording of me singing the Star Spangled Banner acapella

[Pete's New Lows @PetesNewLows]

New low #138: http://t.co/Us5yN4ow

[Pete's New Lows @PetesNewLows]

New low #235: Made the strippers at my bachelor party blush because I was wearing a onesie under my clothes

[Pete's New Lows @PetesNewLows]

New low #98: Getting caught naked with 2 busted chicks in a hot tub & being escorted out with no towels while security laughed hysterically

[Pete's New Lows @PetesNewLows]

New low #61: Taking beer from a homeless man because the liquor store was closed

[Pete's New Lows @PetesNewLows]

New low #118: Eating strange pills from a gay man on Thanksgiving and passing out face first into my mashed potatoes