Phillip Prudden

[Phillip Prudden @Phil_Accio]

@AndyHermanNFL Can anyone understand what the fuck Matt is doing with running? Like this is just simply insane.

[Phillip Prudden @Phil_Accio]

Would it be crazy to start TY Hilton over Tyler Lockett in .5 PPR league? @FFnow

[Phillip Prudden @Phil_Accio]

Just got attacked by a mentally disable child, for wearing a Barney shirt.

[Phillip Prudden @Phil_Accio]

RT to #VoiceSaveLaith https://t.co/wp3abkEhiF

[Phillip Prudden @Phil_Accio]

The word "furthermore" is never followed by something constructive in an office email.

[Phillip Prudden @Phil_Accio]

I can't cook worth a shit, but I put everything on square plates so no one can tell.

[Phillip Prudden @Phil_Accio]

#literarypuns

[Phillip Prudden @Phil_Accio]

So my money's no good here?! "Sir, that's just a copy of Franz Kafka's book Metamorphosis you wrote $5.36 on." Uh, it's called a Czech book.

[Phillip Prudden @Phil_Accio]

A movie called Sarah Jessica Parkour, where she just basically roams around the stable while Russians do front flips off her.

[# @twooxeproject]

If this gets 250,000 retweets, @katyperry will be with me during my chemotherapy. Please help, it's my dream! :)

[Phillip Prudden @Phil_Accio]

As a life statement, I don't care if you read the book and thought it was better.

[Phillip Prudden @Phil_Accio]

I know it might be a bit late, but thanks for that birthday gift back in 1776. @GREATBritain

[Phillip Prudden @Phil_Accio]

Let's all get drunk and prank call Britain.

[Phillip Prudden @Phil_Accio]

There's no appropriate location to wear a ski mask.

[Phillip Prudden @Phil_Accio]

Applications, but for Yoga pants.

[Phillip Prudden @Phil_Accio]

Hey girl, is your name America? Because, obesity.

[Phillip Prudden @Phil_Accio]

Pinocchio lies during sex.

[Phillip Prudden @Phil_Accio]

"Double Stuffed Oreos" should be called Oreos, regular Oreos are "Diet Oreos".