Phil Turner

I'm just your typical dad with no wife or kids. #thegrassisgreener
satirical account

[Phil Turner @PhilTur31422012]

I'm going through a midlife crisis

[Phil Turner @PhilTur31422012]

The grass is dead what's even the point of life anymore.

[Phil Turner @PhilTur31422012]

Shit**

[Phil Turner @PhilTur31422012]

If another one of those kids rides their bike through MY damn lawn I'm gonna lose my shirt.

[Phil Turner @PhilTur31422012]

Wish my mower had LED lights so I could mow at 4 AM. The neighbors love me I promise.

[Phil Turner @PhilTur31422012]

Always. I repeat always click the tongs 3 times before use.

[Phil Turner @PhilTur31422012]

The neighborhood kids don't know who Kurt Cobain is. I've failed as a father

[Phil Turner @PhilTur31422012]

Happy birthday Todd. You have a nice lawn

[Phil Turner @PhilTur31422012]

Just found out about gifs. Keep you posted

[Phil Turner @PhilTur31422012]

Frank thinks he's SOOO cool with his new Scag 61 inch Turf Tiger 2 zero turn. Fuck that guy

[Phil Turner @PhilTur31422012]

Thought Id treat myself to this neat hat 👍

[Phil Turner @PhilTur31422012]

The neighborhood kids are driving their bikes through my yard. #goodfornothings

[Phil Turner @PhilTur31422012]

The look of utter shock on my face that a dandelion would have the audacity to chill in my lawn

[Phil Turner @PhilTur31422012]

Nothing quite like a fresh cut lawn

[Phil Turner @PhilTur31422012]

#NewProfilePic