Lorenzo S Hortenio

It's pronounced Freedom

[Lorenzo S Hortenio @Phroedom]

@TMobile Why does your home internet constantly go out? @TMobileHelp this is the second time in two months. I’ve been a customer for years and suddenly, without changing anything, no service, no internet, no help, but the same monthly cost

[Lorenzo S Hortenio @Phroedom]

@Bickley_Marotta there is a fascinating podcast by Michael Lewis (Moneyball) on sports gambling. Against The Rules season five. You’re welcome

[Lorenzo S Hortenio @Phroedom]

I’ve decided to ghost write my daughter’s entry in her kindergarten writing contest so she wins #girldad

[Lorenzo S Hortenio @Phroedom]

Still waiting for @Jesus’ face to show up in my pancakes because I am that good at making pancakes.

[Lorenzo S Hortenio @Phroedom]

At my parent’s house. So lots of Fox News. But I can’t help think MTV running ads for RuPaul’s drag race is intentional.

[Lorenzo S Hortenio @Phroedom]

Who Owns Which Car Brands? - Consumer Reports https://t.co/rxc0bPsPTH

[Lorenzo S Hortenio @Phroedom]

The brilliant thing about my mom: if a store is giving something away for free, my mom will pay hundreds of dollars for it

[Lorenzo S Hortenio @Phroedom]

Honestly one of the hardest things for me is to be humble about my ability to cook the most amazing pancakes in existence

[Lorenzo S Hortenio @Phroedom]

Calling someone a judgmental asshole is an ironic statement

[Lorenzo S Hortenio @Phroedom]

Huge benefit of traveling by myself: open door trips to the bathroom

[Lorenzo S Hortenio @Phroedom]

To my 170 followers, I have decided to use this platform for funny, odd thoughts which will be mildly entertaining and 100% authentic. Kind of like yelling jokes into a room of people already talking. Really for no one else but me

[Lorenzo S Hortenio @Phroedom]

Why the F am I up this early?

[Lorenzo S Hortenio @Phroedom]

South Carolina 70-58 Oregon State (Mar 31, 2024) Final Score - ESPN - via @ESPN App. Cocks really gave it to the Beavers. What a pounding. The Cocks just kept coming and the Beavers were too soft. https://t.co/6hCto0pQrt

[Arizona Diamondbacks @Dbacks]

All 13 hits from our record-breaking inning. 😅

[Arizona Diamondbacks @Dbacks]

“That whole postseason experience, nobody was giving us credit. We’re looking around the clubhouse, and talking amongst each other, the mentality was like, ‘Hey, watch this. You’ll see.’”

𝐒𝐧𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐀𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 | Episode 4 https://t.co/BLUJb8kau5

[Lorenzo S Hortenio @Phroedom]

I tap the update payment button on my desktop, my phone, it doesn’t matter it goes no where. Ridiculous.

[Lorenzo S Hortenio @Phroedom]

I honestly don’t know if I could be more frustrated. It’s like @DisneyPlus doesn’t want my money. Loyal customer from the beginning and they make it extremely difficult to speak to a human.

[Lorenzo S Hortenio @Phroedom]

@alexcforrest @AnnieAgar The best joke. Still laughing

[Lorenzo S Hortenio @Phroedom]

Add me on BeReal. https://t.co/oXizV12l8F

[Lorenzo S Hortenio @Phroedom]

https://t.co/7riXZMKI4u