Wife: I've thrown away your collection of IKEA hex keys
Me: no! They might've been useful!
Wife: for what?
[10 months later]
Alien King: ...and we will destroy humanity unless you deliver us 500 metal hexagonal rods, bent at 90 degrees
Me: *very glaring at wife*
Still limping after my knee operation. Doc was worried I might fall and hurt myself so he asked me if I wanted a Kane. I said, “Not really, but it’s better than having an Undertaker!” 🤷🏽♂️