Guy Fieri

what u want? u a house u a car?// forty acres and a mule a piano a guitar?//anything see my name is uncle sam im ur dog//motherfucker u can LIVE at the mall

[Guy Fieri @PokeFieri]

If I had to describe my current body type using a character from Animorphs, "Hork-Bajir" is pretty close.

[Guy Fieri @PokeFieri]

My favorite sound?

In a business setting, someone whispering "Can I talk to you for a second?"

[Guy Fieri @PokeFieri]

I wonder how many creepy old men are formerly attractive young men who refuse to believe they are not as attractive.

[Guy Fieri @PokeFieri]

One day later youtube suggested this video. I would be unnerved but I learned so much about mark ruffalo that makes me love him!!
https://t.co/xgenWDpbOX

[Guy Fieri @PokeFieri]

Mark Ruffalo is that actor your mom likes, but can't remember the name of.

[Coconut Tree Faller Outer Ofer @Cam_Oflage]

when you're walking down the sidewalk & see a cat in someone's driveway

[Guy Fieri @PokeFieri]

@minihahannah They're like towels. If you use them to get clean, they are always clean.

[Guy Fieri @PokeFieri]

Blocked by someone I follow and enjoy, for trying to add nuance? I feel like a reply would have gone a lot further than a block.

[Guy Fieri @PokeFieri]

@solomongeorgio I agree with the substance of this, but I find it is more productive to discuss whether an act is racist, rather than the perpetrator. People resent being labeled 100% anything, but they can be more objective about a single one of their actions.

[Guy Fieri @PokeFieri]

A little kid fell down in the grocery store, right in front of me. Parent not in sight. Starts crying and looks at me. I actually have NO IDEA what to do, no experience.

I just shrugged. He stopped crying. I have no idea if this was causal.

[Guy Fieri @PokeFieri]

DMV test for the elderly: I take your driver license and throw it in the grass. If you can find it in five minutes, you get to keep it.

[Guy Fieri @PokeFieri]

@Pepto This ad should be required viewing for overseas visitors arriving in the US.

"Here are the 5 symptoms most Americans are experiencing at any given moment. In a few hours, you will too. Please consume these chili cheese fries and then you can go."

[Guy Fieri @PokeFieri]

@MarylandMudflap A girl I was in the middle of making out with, asked me to do my dolphin noise.

I told her again and again that I didn't want to. Finally I gave in.

The night truly ended at that point.

This is an old story, but not a made up story.

[Guy Fieri @PokeFieri]

Do you think 4-legged animals are envious when they see us, freely and frequently, scratching our own faces and backs with our luxuriously dextrous hands? #SucksToSuck #GoEatSomeGrassFatty

[Guy Fieri @PokeFieri]

@hobo_writer @RogenSandy In my view, meditation is more about greeting thoughts and letting them go, not blocking them out entirely. We are helpless to perceive stuff sometimes, it's the clinging that gets in the way of meditation.

[Guy Fieri @PokeFieri]

Song. Of. The. Season. https://t.co/HpDk9DLuG0

[Guy Fieri @PokeFieri]

@cher As far as I'm concerned, you've been doing press all along! Just by being you ✌

[Guy Fieri @PokeFieri]

@alyankovic I know it is high altitude, but can you please play Albuquerque please please please I'll sing every word with you I promise

[chuuch @ch000ch]

My date: : Stop. Please stop saying that. i can't take it anymore. It doesn't even make sense

Me: mood.

[Guy Fieri @PokeFieri]

A man

...driving the wrong way down a 1-way

...blasting Nickelback's "Rockstar" at high volume

Top that.

I CHALLENGE YOU