Patrick Browne

Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana

[Patrick Browne @Pootthebrownes]

“Hey Alexa, play some more of my hype playlist”
*Bangarang by Skrillex starts playing*

[Patrick Browne @Pootthebrownes]

Who up gettin that worm rn #EarlyBirdsOnly

[Patrick Browne @Pootthebrownes]

I don’t have to close the door to the bathroom in my studio apartment, but sometimes I do… just cuz. #occupied #dontcomein

[Patrick Browne @Pootthebrownes]

Might make a pile of leaves and jump in Idk tho

[Patrick Browne @Pootthebrownes]

Who is Nordstrom and why is everyone talking about their rack?

[Patrick Browne @Pootthebrownes]

And now I’m putting the peanut butter in the fridge and the jelly in the pantry #WHATAMIDOING

[Patrick Browne @Pootthebrownes]

Just put the jelly on first #WhatAmIDoing

[Patrick Browne @Pootthebrownes]

Just put the jelly on first #WhatAmIDoing

[Patrick Browne @Pootthebrownes]

I lost one of my spoons, if anyone sees it lmk

[Patrick Browne @Pootthebrownes]

Anyone else forget to flush sometimes? I know I do ahah

[Patrick Browne @Pootthebrownes]

I had a dream about a hit tweet, but I forgot what it was. #OhWell

[Patrick Browne @Pootthebrownes]

Chivalry’s not dead. It was just resurrected and renamed Patrick. #yourewelcome

[Patrick Browne @Pootthebrownes]

To all the mothers out there, Happy Mother’s Day.

To all the single ladies, Happy Mommy’s Day.

#MothersDay2025

[Patrick Browne @Pootthebrownes]

Life becomes easier when you stop caring about what your hair looks like when the car windows are down. #crazyhairdontcare

[Patrick Browne @Pootthebrownes]

Don’t take life too seriously. Do what you want. Meow at babies.

[Patrick Browne @Pootthebrownes]

Playing “It’s All Coming Back to Me Now” by Celine Dion in my head every time I bite into a peanut butter sandwich.

[Patrick Browne @Pootthebrownes]

Call me “The Bev” the way they don’t forget about me.

[Patrick Browne @Pootthebrownes]

Unreal description of myself. Taking this to the grave. Thanks @StonyG2

[Patrick Browne @Pootthebrownes]

Just saw profanity on the Chipotle wall and immediately thought about young kids seeing it. If turning into Holden Caulfield isn’t my brain’s cry for help, I don’t know what is.

[Patrick Browne @Pootthebrownes]

If you want to turn your swag on, you must hop out of bed. #motivationalthoughts

[Patrick Browne @Pootthebrownes]

2025 hit and the first thing I did was take a poop #NewYearSameMe

[Patrick Browne @Pootthebrownes]

Venmo balance looking like a second bank account rn #GetYourMoneyUpNotYourFunnyUp