ThePricelineScammer!

For legal reasons, this is satire. (But the events and dissatisfied customers are entirely real. And frequent. And unhappy.)

[ThePricelineScammer! @PricelineScam]

@queene4theday @priceline I'm not really Priceline? Hey, you're not really a queen other, honey, so we're even.

[ThePricelineScammer! @PricelineScam]

@queene4theday @priceline So you can read, just not write.

We're very proud of you. You're the sort of semiliterate customer we like!

[ThePricelineScammer! @PricelineScam]

@queene4theday @priceline We also don't know what your "degrees" have to do with parking, but since you opened the door, we went through it.

[ThePricelineScammer! @PricelineScam]

@queene4theday @priceline Grammar is to Twitter what customer service is to https://t.co/Lqob0WilaT: unnecessary, but it would be nice.

[ThePricelineScammer! @PricelineScam]

@bethmarie316 @WilliamShatner That idea is so shit that we will probably adopt it quite soon.

[ThePricelineScammer! @PricelineScam]

@Ashez_z You have to understand: Our employees are not very smart. Or talented. Or sober. Or motivated.

Mistakes are bound to happen.

[ThePricelineScammer! @PricelineScam]

@MartyChargin @AlertTrade @Yelp Hope it's not us. We're a total mess and will only destroy them. We have no clue what we are doing.

[ThePricelineScammer! @PricelineScam]

@victorPGH No problem! Mazel tov!

[ThePricelineScammer! @PricelineScam]

@victorPGH @billburr But I've moved off the point. The main point is that we suck and you should use Expedia or some other shit instead.

[ThePricelineScammer! @PricelineScam]

@victorPGH @billburr Could be worse, though. At least it wasn't stomach cancer. Or untreated syphilis. Again.

[ThePricelineScammer! @PricelineScam]

@victorPGH @billburr Commodore Perry? We loved you on the '85 Bears, by the way. You've lost weight and look great! Drugs or tapeworms?

[ThePricelineScammer! @PricelineScam]

@victorPGH @billburr Then they are not us. Our customer service is garbage! We refuse to help anyone!

[ThePricelineScammer! @PricelineScam]

@HDBoykinJr Or scams, scams, scam deals, cheap scams, scam lines, @priceline scams. That's more like it.

[ThePricelineScammer! @PricelineScam]

@helpowl Who the hell can figure that garbage out. Call one of our mindless drones and sit on hold for an hour. Maybe they can help. Or not.

[ThePricelineScammer! @PricelineScam]

@Kfgrb *Rubs hands together* Good! Another potential victim! Hand over that money! Give us that credit card info! We're ready to not serve!!

[ThePricelineScammer! @PricelineScam]

@HowToSave We're a completely unnecessary and redundant service for the fat and lazy... And we print money as a result! Cha-Ching! 💵💵💵💵

[ThePricelineScammer! @PricelineScam]

@HowToSave We're robbing everybody blind. It's like free money! And all we do is connect people to services they could contact themselves!!

[ThePricelineScammer! @PricelineScam]

@HowToSave You think this is funny, you should see our balance sheet! People just hand over money and have no idea what they are getting!

[ThePricelineScammer! @PricelineScam]

@HowToSave Hotels have a stake in keeping customers happy. We don't. We have Internet-based volume on our side. Lots of fish in the sea!

[ThePricelineScammer! @PricelineScam]

@HowToSave You have a better chance than trying to go through us, that's for sure. We're a mess, charge hidden fees and never refund.