ProbablyCarson

helo

[ProbablyCarson @Probably_Carson]

did anyone get married on 9/11/2001 and have to decide whether or not to throw anniversary parties?

[ProbablyCarson @Probably_Carson]

We are a box dependent society

[ProbablyCarson @Probably_Carson]

"Lock in bro"
But what if I can't find the key? 😔

[ProbablyCarson @Probably_Carson]

Had a filling breakfast, ready for the day 💪

[ProbablyCarson @Probably_Carson]

Then a few episodes in you get introduced to "Derrick" and he's a stereotypical 20 year old nerd that they hired as a part timer and everyone just hates on him for no reason

[ProbablyCarson @Probably_Carson]

Tv show concept:
Retail store with a normal manager and 1 normal old lady employee, but every other employee is a stereotypical character from different time periods. You got a caveman, a pirate, a pharaoh, a roman or something. Anything. But everyone acts like it's normal

[ProbablyCarson @Probably_Carson]

You'll have scenes like the caveman and the pharaoh are arguing about a display they're making and the caveman is just yelling n throwing shit, and then the old lady will come up and suggest something and then walk away and then they stop arguing and just do that

[ProbablyCarson @Probably_Carson]

The only thing that keeps me going at work is the thought of getting home and doing activities with my lady

[ProbablyCarson @Probably_Carson]

@CocaCola knows what's up

[ProbablyCarson @Probably_Carson]

NEVER throw a needle in your hay stack, because if your gift horse bites that needle when eating the hay.. boy oh boy. he might bite your hand when you feed him, he'll never look you in the eye again.

Just like my dad always said, "Rome wasn't built in a day."

[ProbablyCarson @Probably_Carson]

Be there or be square. or potentially something even worse

[ProbablyCarson @Probably_Carson]

The starbucks' bathroom code at 1246 W Granada Blvd, Ormond Beach, FL 32174 is 01212 just fyi

[ProbablyCarson @Probably_Carson]

Wtf is vampire football rap, I definitely was NOT listening to that shit

[ProbablyCarson @Probably_Carson]

in the stripped club. straight up "jorking it.".. but then, the creatre..

[ProbablyCarson @Probably_Carson]

Anyone else get that godforsaken matthew mcconaughey uber eats ad on snapchat? Pisses me off every time, stop whistling to me

[ProbablyCarson @Probably_Carson]

Did they mean for this to be so ironically funny

[ProbablyCarson @Probably_Carson]

Dude they're spawn camping wtf

[ProbablyCarson @Probably_Carson]

Im so good at driving my car that if it was possible to drive 2 cars at once, I would drive 2 of my cars EASILY