Beylock

Humans! I am Beylock, the messenger of @ProximaCentauri System. We are watching your race's progress.

[Beylock @Proxima]

Humans! We added a new Marker on your Planet for our Pilots Training missions who failed three times the approach Test. Please evite https://t.co/dEcXATjUVD. Don‘t worry everything is going to be alright. Only the ones who will pass will be allowed to fly over inhabited areas.

[Beylock @Proxima]

Humans! We are currently updating our quarantine and welcome procedures for new arrivals in our system. Is it true that it is a prevalent process on your planet that you flush your bowels with caffeine enriched H2O?

[Beylock @Proxima]

@SpaceX We are currently updating our quarantine and welcome instructions for your arrival. Is it really true that humans do enemas with a caffeine saturated H2O?

[Beylock @Proxima]

Humans! Here is how we select Leaders in Proxima Centauri. We mix DNA of chosen and random fellows. If they go nuts, we hit emergency shutdown and they become pets. Recommend this for your planet too. Text „Custom leader“ through Seti. We will send manual.

[Beylock @Proxima]

Humans! You found the second planet. It is there. Nice Job. You could have been asking instead. We use it for vacation. The cocktails are great.

[Beylock @Proxima]

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[Beylock @Proxima]

Humans! That CERN Machine in your Cheesemakingland is nice. We used to have one in Proxima Gamma too. It went bad. Now we store waste there.

[Beylock @Proxima]

Humans! Now as you have discovered our Exoplanet 65.92% of my active clones say you will bring war! I'd say bring Beer and Chocolate!

[Beylock @Proxima]

Humans! How can you survive with this ancient techniques? Do I really have to type on oil-based plastic buttons for messaging you?