I will say I am proud and happy I have pushed myself to be more social, but I feel I have had zero success with trying to emotionally connect with anyone and it is extremely frustrating and exhausting to try to put yourself out there when you don’t find it rewarding
That being said I do hate this time of year and how my mind wonders, I still feel the heart break I felt two years ago, I absolutely hate when I people ask me about my social life. I know I shouldn’t be secluded and I have made strides. I know am a different person
I do feel very grateful, for the first time in my life I love going to work, I feel fully supported by the people I’ve been around. It is amazing how once you stop trying to be something you’re not everything sticks clicking and it finally goes your way
I can not believe I’m playing a show tomorrow night, let alone all the songs I wrote about my anxiety / self isolation. For almost two years I haven’t felt like myself. Healing and moving on isn’t something you wake up one day are cured of. It really is a constant process