In 2008, Malcolm Gladwell explained why some people succeed & some don't.
This talk reveals:
• Why ability is overrated
• Why effort alone isn’t enough
• How systems quietly decide outcomes
12 lessons from Gladwell that'll permanently change how you think about success:
Sometimes I wonder if we even have proper governance in Ondo State. I wish I could defend my state the way some people hype theirs, even when their own reality is nothing but red sand and thatched roofs. 🤷🏿♂️
Hear me out.
I actually agree with this guy.
He isn’t talking about finding love or a genuine emotional bond. He’s talking about access. About being able to date, sleep with, and spend time with the exact type of woman you want, regardless of whether you would’ve been her natural choice in a neutral setting.
And that reality exists.
Across America, Nigeria, India, England, Spain, many women openly pursue a specific lifestyle. Cosmetic surgery, clout chasing, branding, aesthetics, social proof. Not for romance, but for positioning. To appeal to a particular demographic of men. Does it work? Yes. Very often.
At that point, “type” becomes secondary. The highest bidder wins.
This is where rich incels thrive.
Men who know that, without money or status, they would never be seen by the women they desire. No amount of “game” would bridge that gap. Wealth, visibility, and relevance suddenly flip the table. Access appears. The same women who were once unreachable are now available. Not because of attraction in the romantic sense, but because the transaction makes sense.
And we judge these men too harshly for pointing this out.
Attraction itself is hierarchical. If you think you’re handsome, it’s because you rank above someone else. And someone else ranks above you. That pyramid never disappears. “Game” does not operate in a vacuum. Its success is deeply tied to how you already look, how you’re perceived, and where you sit on that ladder. That’s why people hit the gym, fix their skin, dress better. They are trying to climb.
But those at the bottom suffer the most.
Not because love is impossible for them. It isn’t. But the chances of them getting the specific woman they desire are extremely slim. Many will settle for someone who loves them deeply, while quietly wishing they had access to a different reality.
That’s not ideology.
That’s not hate.
That’s not coping.
It’s an uncomfortable truth about desire, hierarchy, and access.
You don’t have to like it.
But pretending it doesn’t exist won’t make it disappear.
Go to church, Islamic terrorists will attack you.
Go to school, Fulani terrorists will abduct you.
Go to farm, Fulani terrorist herders will slaughter you.
Travel, terrorist bandits will kidnap you
Criticize the government, DSS will pick you.
Dress well, Police will rob you. 🇳🇬
Make I give you OT from an OG
- Book online (saves you the stress)
- Don't walk in with babe (wrong move)
- Go to the lodge first be there at least 1 hr or 30mins before package arrives (it allows you assess the room, so you know where and how to handle the package
- Being there first is a mental masculine thing, your package come meet you ni, dem go call you say someone dey ask for you, na you go say let her in (and you can welcome her in as the man of the house 😂
- Go with your umbrella, there's climate change, you don't want to be begging for umbrella from strangers or be beaten by rain.
- Also when you finish your project presentation, let babe leave first. As the man you leave last to ensure nothing is missing or left behind.
I wish you success in your project defense.
As an aside, one cultural feature I would like to delete from Nigerian society is men paying their female friends for sex.
Stop. Paying. For. Sex.
If you're going to pay, find an actual sex worker, do your transaction, have your experience, and keep it pushing.
Don't let that transactional stuff thing seep into your real life. Stop making it socially acceptable for people to have sex with each other in exchange for money without the psychological acknowledgment that this is prostitution (which to be clear, I have nothing against).
Sex is not a precious or rare commodity. It is not a capitalist invention. It is a human experience which must either be freely experienced or traded in an acknowledged transaction. While I am a proud advocate for prostitution (I think it serves a very important societal role), I think it is very important to keep prostitution and regular human relationships firewalled away from each other.
Because this lack of firewall is taking human relationships in Nigeria into this weird, hyper-financialised space where even in committed relationships and marriages, people are trading sex for money. Even in schools now, kids are normalising trading money for sexual favours. So instead of going through the normal, awkward, personality-building teenage development phase that a boy must pass through to become a man, boys are now learning that money is this magic shortcut/hack for getting everything including the girl you like without actually putting in effort or improving yourself in any way - that money in and of itself is what gives you value.
Part of the manifestation of the externally-driven modification of our society that I keep warning about is that 15 years ago, a 14 year-old boy in Igbosere who wanted to date the cute girl in his class would have had to make an effort to learn to hold a conversation, dress and smell good, maybe play a sport or 2 and learn to speak confidently so that Tinuke would notice him. Nowadays, his immediate visual reference for what "man near me who gets all the girls" looks like is one dirty loser on Twitter called Ezra who looks like he has a permanent smell, or one Yahoo Boy down the street with colour riot clothes and trousers hanging below his butt - simply because they wield money.
Someone is trying to morph Nigerian men into a group of disgusting, pathetic losers who try to fill the void in their souls by paying for everything under the sun including love, and we must resist it. There are only so many rich perverts and liquid social deviants. If enough Nigerian men collectively stop normalising the hyper-monetisation of sex, the equilibrium will be restored.
Both the Yahoo Boy with the blue tongue and mouth odour inside his Mercedes GLK, and the sociopath nerd waving his American VC dollars inside his Tesla are signs of the same loser disease that someone wants to become our norm, and we mustn't be afraid to tell losers that they are losers. A loser does not cease to be a loser simply on account of wielding money - money itself is a construct.
Wife bought something on
FB Marketplace but she's afraid she'll get kidnapped so she sends me to pick it up from a guy who's wife sent him because she's afraid to get kidnapped.