Keith Ray

Comic. Writer. I salt my cantaloupe and drink milk. What it do?!

[Keith Ray @QueefRay]

I wonder what @therealroseanne would think of my show?
https://t.co/hc4ZwGk1Q3

[Keith Ray @QueefRay]

I made a show! So here we go!
https://t.co/hc4ZwGk1Q3

[Queef Richards @iBrettmypants]

Changing the mind of someone who doesn’t like soccer is like winning over a Trump supporter. You can’t do it because they’re all illiterate, mouth-breathing cretins with bad breath and Type 2 Diabetes.

[Keith Ray @QueefRay]

Ya boy gon' straight vegan.. #outtameat

[ret @rad_milk]

anyone in better shape than me is a dumb jock and anyone in worse shape than me in a stupid nerd

[Keith Ray @QueefRay]

@realDonaldTrump can you even grow a mustache? #realmanshit

[Queef Richards @iBrettmypants]

Being accused of sexual harassment is the worst way to find out people think you’re ugly.

[Keith Ray @QueefRay]

Y'all ever think about space as it relates to time?! that shit irritatin'! #coffeeandquestions

[Keith Ray @QueefRay]

What y'all know bout atom$!? that's them little shits make up er'thang!

[Keith Ray @QueefRay]

Y'all know Carlo Revelli?! I fuxx wit science

[Keith Ray @QueefRay]

Y'all know Jesus? He be carin' and shit..

[Keith Ray @QueefRay]

Yesterday made for lots of fresh inventory. DM for delivery. #drunkontears #ginthepainaway #staysalty

[Keith Ray @QueefRay]

drinkin' my tears again.. Supah! salty! #ginittowinit

[Queef Richards @iBrettmypants]

Show I'm at tonight, sort of an axis of comedy evil:
@eddiepepitone
@brendonwalsh &
@Henlips
This town's alright.
Thanks @HollywoodImprov

[Rachael Goldman @RachaelGoldman]

You mean to tell me Trump yelled at a WHITE baby?!?!?!

[the other geoff tate @geofftate96]

Clint Eastwood is 100 yrs old. Nothing was called racist when he was growing up bc everyone was racist.

[Keith Ray @QueefRay]

i is grinnin' and cuz we be ginning' #staysalty #GINGIN

[Keith Ray @QueefRay]

Still alive.. been on the wagon, losing balance, embracing the fall!

[Keith Ray @QueefRay]

@DougStanhope me and two of my best friends, @LOLOliviaGrace @gossgoss6 booked our first tour! #DIY

[Keith Ray @QueefRay]

That's right, we're hitting the road!! https://t.co/7WmXaLEslJ