beorne

[garlic gerard @phantomparades]

am i absolutely stoned or do you guys see them in this garlic bread

[Luis Vercetti @97Vercetti]

when u sneeze 3 times in a row & they say “shut the fuck up” instead of “bless you”

[beorne @QueenBDale]

Prove it.

[President Biden Archived @POTUS46Archive]

The Fourth of July is a sacred day in our country – it's a time to celebrate the goodness of our nation, the only nation on Earth founded based on an idea: that all people are created equal.

Make no mistake, our best days still lie ahead.

[beorne @QueenBDale]

@RepMTG You ever heard that saying guilty dog barks the loudest?

[beorne @QueenBDale]

@GregAbbott_TX How long do you think it’s going to take God to review your list of sins on judgement day? You feel good about where you’re going? Because you shouldn’t.

[beorne @QueenBDale]

@GregAbbott_TX when you stand before God, you will feel the weight of your sins. You’re a godless troglodyte. Get fucked.

[✌🏾 @iSnatchTrackss]

Lord Please Take This Gas Out My Stomach And Put It In My Car😔

[Andrew Nadeau @TheAndrewNadeau]

[tinder first date]
her: oh. I saw your profile picture holding the fish. I just assumed…

fish: yeah this happens a lot

[rose @maisonaries]

santaaa where the hell have u been loco

[ellie schnitt @holy_schnitt]

why is sleeping at night so hard but sleeping in the morning is like drifting away on a soft fluffy cloud while adele sings you a lullaby

[✨MAXINE SHAW, ATTORNEY AT LAW✨ @JDbeauty21]

It says STUDENT loans, which I am no longer. Be blessed Joseph.

[bummer without b @bummer_no_b]

y’all are pushing me to the jar jar brink

[︎ad @gwoupy]

When you make a joke in front of
your psychologist & instead of
laughing, she starts writing it down

[Drebae @Drebae_]

Idk where the term “scaredy cat” came from chile. Cause cats really be acting like God left them in charge 😭

[my book is better than my tweets @MichellCClark]

i hope you experience something today that reminds you that you’re on the right track.