Quinn Abbott

I still live with my parents.

[Quinn Abbott @QuinnAbbott]

I don’t know what “The Mother” is in apple cider vinegar, but I do know I’m terrified of it.

[Quinn Abbott @QuinnAbbott]

I felt weak today. I felt stronger yesterday. Like Benjamin Button in reverse.

-@TobyHater

[Quinn Abbott @QuinnAbbott]

Don’t you people dare cross me.

[Quinn Abbott @QuinnAbbott]

The Man With The Yellow Hat is a complete pushover.

[Quinn Abbott @QuinnAbbott]

Took a drive to Ocean City, MD today. Along the way, I saw a lot of deer sleeping on the side of the road. Odd.

[Quinn Abbott @QuinnAbbott]

Every city depicted on a CW tv show looks suspiciously like Vancouver.

[Quinn Abbott @QuinnAbbott]

Why would anyone want to stay in Paris to get away from their parents?! That sounds horrible!

[Quinn Abbott @QuinnAbbott]

If a theatrical film is shorter than 90 minutes, it's for children or it's a crappy movie.

[Quinn Abbott @QuinnAbbott]

#VoiceSaveChristian

[Quinn Abbott @QuinnAbbott]

When Donald Duck eats turkey on Christmas, does he not feel somewhat guilty?

[Quinn Abbott @QuinnAbbott]

You did not disappoint, @liza_weil in the #GilmoreGirlsRevival Funniest moment of the show is you kicking the bathroom door closed!

[Quinn Abbott @QuinnAbbott]

Thanksgiving day...and you know what that means...time to fill up on crackers and reject the good food come dinner time.

[Quinn Abbott @QuinnAbbott]

Sprinkles on ice cream are a gateway to a bad glitter habit. Trust me...I know.

[Quinn Abbott @QuinnAbbott]

I'm only 5, and I know this is messed up.

[Quinn Abbott @QuinnAbbott]

Wait, so Tony the Tiger is CGI now and not a cartoon?! When did I get old all of a sudden?

[Quinn Abbott @QuinnAbbott]

My daddy is so old, he thinks his Crocs tan is a badge of honor.

[The Babylon Bee @TheBabylonBee]

Young Parachurch Missionary Learns ‘Exegesis’ Not The Same As ‘Extra Jesus’ https://t.co/QRhW8SzcCL

[Quinn Abbott @QuinnAbbott]

I wear footsie pajamas with socks too because I live life on fire. 🔥

[Shelby Abbott @shelbyabbott]

You miss 100% of the chicken McNuggets you don't eat.

[Shelby Abbott @shelbyabbott]

Imagine really liking someone and then finding out they're super into camping during the winter.