Haven Schröder

[Haven Schröder @QuothTheHaven_]

When you ask for a $0.50 corn dog and the Sonic Lady says, "I got'chu", you know it's going to be a Happy Halloween. 🎃🕸👻🤖👽

[Ken Bone @kenbone18]

Hey America! This message is paid for by @IZOD and the red sweater. #FridayFeeling

[Haven Schröder @QuothTheHaven_]

Me vs You

[Haven Schröder @QuothTheHaven_]

Y'all, watch this chap. https://t.co/vePm2x6FPm

[Matthew Moore @thematthewmoore]

Proud of you JD. https://t.co/8Y5jqHSozo

[Haven Schröder @QuothTheHaven_]

*Matthew gives me a hug and looks at the moon thoughtfully.
"The sun is really bright."

Y'all, I can't make this up. 😂😂😂😂

[Haven Schröder @QuothTheHaven_]

Found a dress that makes me feel FLAWLESS. ...does it matter that it's a dress from the kids section?

[Haven Schröder @QuothTheHaven_]

*slaps Haven from nine years ago
"NO. Haven. NO!"

[Haven Schröder @QuothTheHaven_]

Looks like this is where it belongs.

[Haven Schröder @QuothTheHaven_]

Y'all, what's happening on I-20? I've traveled 4 miles in 30 minutes. Bout to start tearing the upholstery up in this mug.

[Chad Johnson @ochocinco]

Who made this?

[Haven Schröder @QuothTheHaven_]

@JeffersonBethke try Rifle Paper Co!

https://t.co/voTxiMoUMc

[Haven Schröder @QuothTheHaven_]

@KingKranz5 no. Definitely, most certainly, NOT.

[Haven Schröder @QuothTheHaven_]

Of course they ask all employees to stand and be recognized when I have 9 chicken biscuits in my arms. #caught #unavoidable #sneakyfail

[Haven Schröder @QuothTheHaven_]

I'm at this fancy function with CEO's and they're playing "Shake it off". Must. Fight. Dancing.

[The Ellen Show @TheEllenShow]

.@FLOTUS helped @StephenCurry30 throw some shade at her husband. #LaughDancePartner

[Haven Schröder @QuothTheHaven_]

I'm so tired I tried to lock the front door of my house with my car clicker. #nope

[Haven Schröder @QuothTheHaven_]

Proof I shouldn't work while tired:
A man came in to buy a shirt, and I asked him if he wanted to rent or buy it.

#Kay