Rachel

I have no idea what I’m doing 👍

[Rachel @RachelLRandall]

Life update: I animated my dog eclipsing the sun.

[Rachel @RachelLRandall]

@JodieTheNinja Take it from me, an internet stranger: yes! Even if your mind is calm your body can still release all that extra adrenaline that has to go somewhere, so it manifests in all of the physical symptoms. I think it’s called somatic anxiety. I get it all the time.

[Rachel @RachelLRandall]

Fandom! What’s the hashtag we’re using now? If there is one? I’ve been using #SaveTonyandZiva but I noticed @NCISTivaFans uses #TonyandZiva lately (and I would follow them anywhere 🫡). I just want to keep up with all the spicy Tiva tweets, help a girl out. 😂

[Rachel @RachelLRandall]

@Cotestiva Totally! I’m glad I’m not the only one thinking so too so thanks for the reply. Hoping this all resolves well and people can come back together 🤞

[Rachel @RachelLRandall]

I’m confused why it seems like so many people have turned their back on the fandom as a whole. There’s still voting to be done and cons coming up, and season 1 is still ours.
This isn’t me discounting how anyone feels. Please see Part 2 of this rant. [1/2]
#SaveTonyandZiva

[Rachel @RachelLRandall]

[2/2] I know I’m clinging to optimism but I share your anxiety that this fight might be over, or that the mothership might change things. I just don’t think this is the end or that anyone has betrayed us (yet). I’m going to wait and see. Hang in there Tiva fam ❤️
#SaveTonyandZiva

[Rachel @RachelLRandall]

@madsxtiva Similarly I respect being angry about it, I am too in a lot of ways. I’ve never been good about using my anger productively so I hard steer into the “maybe it’ll be okay” route when it’s still possible. And I think it is here? But I could be misreading it, or maybe avoiding it ☹️

[Rachel @RachelLRandall]

I understand why people are upset about Tony’s return and in many ways this bothers me too. It’s certainly not the season 2 we’re still fighting for. But I remain hopeful for a few reasons & will put my earnest thoughts out there online (what could go wrong? 😅)
#savetonyandziva

[Rachel @RachelLRandall]

@madsxtiva Yeah I hear you, it’s super possible that they have no intention to give us what we want beyond this. I want to have hope it’ll go well and cling to optimism while I can. 😅 But trust me if they fuck up their story at all or Cote is not on board with this choice I’m gonna riot🔥

[Rachel @RachelLRandall]

@stcactus_ I don’t usually share my real opinions online either, I’m just feeling a lot of feelings and needed to put them somewhere. So I think we kinda have that in common. No one in my offline life cares this much about them so I appreciate that we can talk about it here 🥹

[Rachel @RachelLRandall]

@stcactus_ Yeah it wasn’t the news I wanted to hear and my initial reaction was and still kind of is “ohhhhh no no no fuck no not like this.” Like that moment when one of those monkey’s paw wishes goes horribly awry, haha. I just really hope it goes okay.

[Rachel @RachelLRandall]

@stcactus_ Hey it’s your own journey, and sometimes I wish I could use my anger more productively instead of trying to shape it into something else because it’s hurting me. I don’t want us to be divided by different approaches, we’re all just here to #savetonyandziva in the end ❤️

[Rachel @RachelLRandall]

@stcactus_ Agree with you there! 😄 It’s not at all what I wanted to happen. The spinoff was 1000% better.

[Rachel @RachelLRandall]

@stcactus_ Also concerned over here, but maybe it’ll be addressed soon or maybe they’re waiting for the next con to discuss it together? At this point it’s pretty early so I’m willing to wait it out a bit longer to see how it’s handled.

[Rachel @RachelLRandall]

@stcactus_ Or that we’ll show up for these characters despite our concerns and it’s worth renewing? We did when Ziva came back without Tony. Or maybe you’re right, I genuinely have no idea what they’ll think. Your approach might be the right one I really don’t know 🤷‍♀️

[Rachel @RachelLRandall]

To paraphrase the man himself: I’m going to love Tiva until I’m 12,000 years old. And I’ll still be here. So I hope we stick this out together. ✌️
#savetonyandziva

[Rachel @RachelLRandall]

I don’t want to turn on the thing I love because it isn’t exactly how I’d love it to be. I don’t want this fandom to self destruct. It’s honestly one of the few things that got me through the last couple years (and I wish that was an exaggeration).

[Rachel @RachelLRandall]

And if I’m going to feel despair about my present then I’m going to look for things to be excited for in my future and things from the past that got me this far to begin with (especially if I assumed they were terrible at the time).

[Rachel @RachelLRandall]

If I’m going to what-if about all of the possible terrible outcomes or everyone’s awful motivations I’m going to what-if about the positives too. I don’t know how this will go. I don’t know why these decisions were made this way. I can’t write the future before it happens.

[Rachel @RachelLRandall]

In summary I’m choosing to apply a couple broader lessons I’ve learned from years of wasting my own time worrying. Everyone is dealing with this in their own way so don’t take this as anything but my own thoughts. I’m not telling you how to feel. Your viewpoint is just as valid.

[Rachel @RachelLRandall]

5. What if Cote is a surprise guest again? Or will be announced later? What if they make a few decent episodes that don’t undo everything? Like we literally don’t know yet.
#savetonyandziva