terrycloth

[terrycloth @RambleOn_Rose]

You may not look like a big girthy veiny penis, but you're still a massive dick

[terrycloth @RambleOn_Rose]

@momsense_ensues @wolfmannjr I'm not scared of the coronavirus, I'm scared of the fact that I am not going to be able to get a truck and try to make a profit on the other side of the line

[terrycloth @RambleOn_Rose]

Ohhhhhh we're all in quarantine ohhhh the stores are out of beans
Ohhhhhh we're all in quarantine ohhhh I miss twenty nineteen

[terrycloth @RambleOn_Rose]

Hey there Deliliah what's it like in New York City
Do you still have toilet paper cause up here it's pretty shitty
Yes I do... need to find something for the bathroom... I think its poop....

[terrycloth @RambleOn_Rose]

When people say "your addiction is doing pushups in the parking lot" all I can think is "well good, at least some part of me has follow through"

[terrycloth @RambleOn_Rose]

@thexybeatht My husband is 10.5 years older than me, that's the biggest age difference I've had in an actual relationship

[terrycloth @RambleOn_Rose]

It's cool that now I can say I'm practicing "social distancing" instead of "being antisocial" #upside #covid19

[terrycloth @RambleOn_Rose]

So I know people like to call someone a "wet blanket" if they're no fun... my new top insult is going to be calling someone a WET SOCK because nothing in this world is more irritating than damp footwear

[Lady Lawya @Parkerlawyer]

If your cashier at TJ Maxx doesn’t say “Oooh this is sooo cute!” to every one of your items, did you even go to TJ Maxx?

[Ted Corcoran (RedTRaccoon) @RedTRaccoon]

Without a teleprompter or a sheet a paper, Beto O'Rourke delivers the perfect answer to a question about NFL players taking a knee.

Every American needs to listen to this.

This is a brilliant speech.

[Helleanor Rigby @Mom_Overboard]

They say women are the needy ones but you don't hear about anyone out there mail ordering husbands...

[Christian Doe @ChristianDoe9]

@DaddyDaddymac one more :)

[terrycloth @RambleOn_Rose]

Jeans are the cops of pants.

[terrycloth @RambleOn_Rose]

I think this might be the one and only time you'll hear me say this... but let's focus on politics instead of genitals, yeah?

[terrycloth @RambleOn_Rose]

My Twitter hiatus ended just in time to watch the ignorant people crawl out of their holes to complain about our transgender gubernatorial candidate. Perfect timing.

[terrycloth @RambleOn_Rose]

@ChrisHo81670742 @ajplus Yeah... and??

[octopus/caveman @octopuscaveman]

I have this awesome app that shows me what I would look like as a fat person. It’s called Camera.