ess bee fritz

Elevating the inane. Mundanity in spades, and the savings are passed on to you!

[ess bee fritz @RandomAntics]

Everything happens for a rationalization.

[Seamus O'flaugherty @seamussaid]

forgive me if I don't join in w/your highs and lows I'm holding down the fucking middle

[ess bee fritz @RandomAntics]

@philosofacespin but congrats!

[ess bee fritz @RandomAntics]

@NotOwenMeany great! so what you're saying is you can help grade some of my students papers? 🙂

[ess bee fritz @RandomAntics]

@mjmimages these are eliciting the opposite effect for me

[ess bee fritz @RandomAntics]

After decades of crisis I'm really looking forward to my midlife respite.

[ess bee fritz @RandomAntics]

evil's pendulum swing from banality to absurdity is complete

[ess bee fritz @RandomAntics]

@dorsalstream @Spectre_7 thanks, friend. you gotta keep your sunny side up, ya know?

[ess bee fritz @RandomAntics]

@Spectre_7 well then my work here is done! ☠️

[Seamus O'flaugherty @seamussaid]

the reasons people give you are not necessarily the reasons they reach for in the dark

[batkaren (a/k/a kt roth) @batkaren]

Watches romance flick backwards to see an insipid woman who lives solely for a man blossom into an individual with her own life

[rachelle mandik 🕳 @rachelle_mandik]

i don't have a sword or a hammer or mutant superpowers, but i've been using one pen for a really long time and it hasn't run out of ink yet

[ess bee fritz @RandomAntics]

The dog trainer said my dog has 'possession aggression' and now i finally have a phrase to describe my own attachment style.

[ess bee fritz @RandomAntics]

I mean, he's an *ok* dane. A sufficient dane. I've seen better.

[ess bee fritz @RandomAntics]

Age is just a number! (a number steadily rising until inevitably collapsing in on itself sucking you into an abyss of nonexistence)

[ess bee fritz @RandomAntics]

Just hired Freddy Krueger to plan my dream wedding!

[ess bee fritz @RandomAntics]

movie reboot idea: Driving Miss Anthropy

[Pete Mandik @petemandik]

Tuba = Terrible Underwater Breathing Apparatus

[Natty Lumpo @nattylumpo88]

A murder of crows. A petit larceny of jackdaws. A forcible touching of magpies. An indecent exposure of ravens. A racketeering of choughs.

[ess bee fritz @RandomAntics]

when you've heard enough about valentine's day already

[ess bee fritz @RandomAntics]

@n8torious1 aww thank *you* for always being such a good twitter friend!