Random Keith

Voted #1 best person on Earth, two years running!! Sociopathic narcissist with delusions of grandeur.

[Random Keith @RandomKeith13]

@trackingdonald @elonmusk Geez guys, they just want to groom kiddos in peace. Why’s everyone’s so mean? Lol this dude is so deep in it they have a whole account dedicated to “Tracking Trump” sometimes I think we might have a mental health crisis in our nation…

[Random Keith @RandomKeith13]

@RobSchneider I probably will, but only because I don’t like to be told I won’t do something and then comply. Nah, imma cut my nose of to spite that ugly face evry time kid

[Random Keith @RandomKeith13]

Sure, if only it weren’t for that whole mental health thing that’d be a great idea. Unfortunately in our society words and emojis tend to lead to real world violence. The block is a good thing, and should be embraced.

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

It’s worth considering deleting your blocks. What’s the worst that can happen? Words & emojis …

[Random Keith @RandomKeith13]

@RickandMorty You guys are amazing at coming out with garbage that nobody wants or asked for.

[Random Keith @RandomKeith13]

Sorry. I only tweet when I poop, and I’ve been constipated for awhile now.

[Random Keith @RandomKeith13]

@TSA I can still hide weed in 3.4 oz but just not as much. Why you gotta ruin everything fun? Do you have any idea what a kick it’s been over years to smuggle shit in peanut butter? Government ruins everything fun.

[Random Keith @RandomKeith13]

@DoyleHargrave11 I’m really glad I decided to jump on here tonight. One of my favorite song and I didn’t know how much I needed to hear it right now.

[Random Keith @RandomKeith13]

@FightHaven Clear case of fuck around and find out.

[Random Keith @RandomKeith13]

@DKbluth Thanks. Here’s another one for you, same era:
This here's a jam for all the fellas
Tryin' to do what those ladies tell us
Get shot down 'cause you're overzealous
Play hard to get, females get jealous

[Random Keith @RandomKeith13]

@FINALLEVEL This reminds me of Snow saying that he was so committed to his identity of not being an informer, that he turned down a lucrative roll because the character was a snitch. 🤣

[Random Keith @RandomKeith13]

@unusual_whales Not mine

[Random Keith @RandomKeith13]

@POTUS Wait… is this a parody account?

[Random Keith @RandomKeith13]

@JesseKellyDC Well this is the funniest bit of fiction I could find this morning:

[Random Keith @RandomKeith13]

@JustinWhang And now just look at him! He performs it live at bars all over the world. Success!

[Random Keith @RandomKeith13]

@JustinWhang It speaks volumes about the current state of SNL that they rejected this skit when Tim pitched it. I’m glad he got his own show because it quickly became a classic.

[Random Keith @RandomKeith13]

@RobSchneider “There was two crabs, they work in pairs” one of the most unintentionally hilarious human beings to ever live.

[Random Keith @RandomKeith13]

@clownworld

[Random Keith @RandomKeith13]

@Brink_Thinker That’s obviously sonic the hedgehog

[Random Keith @RandomKeith13]

@anabelmtz86 Good morning! Happy Birthday!