Randy “Beef” Schitz

Cincinnati Reds Lifetime Sufferer | Bourbon Enjoyer | 6-time Divorcee | Looking for women, specifically over the age of 40

[Randy “Beef” Schitz @RandySchitz]

Sitting at work, scouting baseball reference, looking back on how GREAT 2013 MICHAEL CUDDYER WAS

[Randy “Beef” Schitz @RandySchitz]

Shakira doing what she does best and shaking ass in front of the whole world #halftimeshow

[Randy “Beef” Schitz @RandySchitz]

Hypothetical blunt rotation of my choosing (tv show edition):
1. Arthur Shelby
2. Mike Ehrmantraut
3. Baby Billy Freeman
4. Kenny Powers
5. Paulie Walnuts
6. Ari Gold

[Randy “Beef” Schitz @RandySchitz]

Frank said it’s time to pour the bourbon. No argue from my end #whiteflag

[Randy “Beef” Schitz @RandySchitz]

Making myself work for the booze tonight. Can not touch until I get 4 loads of shit moved out and into the new place. I will be back for you later honey #WellEarnedHangover

[Randy “Beef” Schitz @RandySchitz]

Making myself work for the booze tonight. Can not touch until I get 4 loads of shit moved out and into the new place. I will be back for you later honey #WellEarnedHangover

[Randy “Beef” Schitz @RandySchitz]

@speakeasyml J'aime ce que je vois

[Randy “Beef” Schitz @RandySchitz]

I will proudly bum on my old man’s tab until one of us dies #sorryboutit

[Randy “Beef” Schitz @RandySchitz]

I wish I had the voice aura of Raymond Reddington. Blacklist S1: 7.4/10

[Randy “Beef” Schitz @RandySchitz]

It’s to the point where I am ready for summer to be over. I’ve had my fun. I’ve made some money. Just let me black out on a Monday with no shame please

[Randy “Beef” Schitz @RandySchitz]

Got kicked out of work because everyone thinks I have pink eye. I promise the Cincinnati stripper was not that dirty this weekend #superspreader

[Randy “Beef” Schitz @RandySchitz]

Reds lost, you know what that means #casino

[Randy “Beef” Schitz @RandySchitz]

I wish I had a fat Naperville fuck in my ear talking shit right now #manifesting

[Randy “Beef” Schitz @RandySchitz]

Please oh please let a wigga have a day

[Randy “Beef” Schitz @RandySchitz]

Just going to start getting drunk every night, picking a streaming platform, choosing a movie and start giving drunk ratings on it. Last night, Despicable me 4, 7.1/10

[Randy “Beef” Schitz @RandySchitz]

Despicable Me after a night of sadness and sorrow and beers

[Randy “Beef” Schitz @RandySchitz]

Reporting live from the land of the free, have a day America #happy4th

[Randy “Beef” Schitz @RandySchitz]

Bosnia and Hernia can’t do shit with the US down a man. God I love this country

[Randy “Beef” Schitz @RandySchitz]

Australian rugby greatest moments with a glass of booze on a Monday night. #givemebackmyfootball

[Randy “Beef” Schitz @RandySchitz]

What yall know about my nigga hootie?

[Randy “Beef” Schitz @RandySchitz]

I hate the pirates