B.C. Miles 🎫

Author of 'I Will Go To Bed Early and Other Lies I Tell Myself'

[B.C. Miles 🎫 @Rantaloons]

Twitter is an absolute sewer. The occasional interesting looking floater, the odd flushed diamond, all engulfed by a torrent of utter shit.

It's pretty great once you get used to the smell.

[B.C. Miles 🎫 @Rantaloons]

@TheBarmyArmy

[B.C. Miles 🎫 @Rantaloons]

@WisdenCricket - 4 former English captains, the match umpires, numerous former umpires all said Bairstow was out fairly and should have stayed in his crease.
- Bairstow tried the exact same thing in this test but failed.
- No one South of the equator is buying the English confected outrage.

[B.C. Miles 🎫 @Rantaloons]

@EricIdle Bairstow outside of Lord's jay-walking across the street and gets hit by a car. All of England: "Oh boo that cheating car, Bairstow thought he had right of way, and that is the same thing as actually having the little green man light up"

[B.C. Miles 🎫 @Rantaloons]

@EricIdle Must have been why you can clearly see the umpire, standing in place with Green's hat in his hand.

[B.C. Miles 🎫 @Rantaloons]

@EricIdle By people who haven't bothered to read the laws of the game they wrote.

[B.C. Miles 🎫 @Rantaloons]

@deemadigan It's okay, he can go home soon and have a nice big bowl of shit all to himself. #eatshitlyle

[B.C. Miles 🎫 @Rantaloons]

@MikeyMcMahon @MervHughes332 Please, the walk from the pavilion to the crease and back was just warming up for his first over.

[B.C. Miles 🎫 @Rantaloons]

@BarbatoSalv @MervHughes332 ...from winning?

[B.C. Miles 🎫 @Rantaloons]

@NicerInPerson @BLShiv @mubly @OllieHolt22 https://t.co/YtoLDiZsRC Lol. Q: What's the difference between Carey and Bairstow? A: Accuracy

[Sam Djodan @samdjodan]

Thought we had seen this before. Jonny Bairstow attempting to catch Marnus Labuschagne stepping out of his crease two days ago. #Ashes @wwos @9NewsAUS

[B.C. Miles 🎫 @Rantaloons]

@Danlrcc @TheBarmyArmy Hang on, I also remember him using his spikes to tamper with the ball in SA. The only difference between England and Australia is, Australia suspends their cheats while England give theirs MBE's.

[B.C. Miles 🎫 @Rantaloons]

@felicityward https://t.co/YtoLDiZsRC Oh and here is Bairstow trying (and failing) at the exact same thing in the same test match.

[Sam Djodan @samdjodan]

Thought we had seen this before. Jonny Bairstow attempting to catch Marnus Labuschagne stepping out of his crease two days ago. #Ashes @wwos @9NewsAUS

[B.C. Miles 🎫 @Rantaloons]

@EricIdle https://t.co/YtoLDiZsRC That's right, I mean anyone who tries to throw down the stumps in the same test, should be shamed forever - but only if they are successful - and Australian - it's very important that they be Australian. And definitely not Bairstow.

[Sam Djodan @samdjodan]

Thought we had seen this before. Jonny Bairstow attempting to catch Marnus Labuschagne stepping out of his crease two days ago. #Ashes @wwos @9NewsAUS

[B.C. Miles 🎫 @Rantaloons]

@R_M_T_2 @plalor Are you talking about Atherton, or Broad and Anderson? Do you need some spikes, "dust" or boiled sweets while you think about this? The only difference between Australia and England is, Australia suspend their cheats and the English give theirs MBE's.

[B.C. Miles 🎫 @Rantaloons]

@dpsmith19771 @plalor https://t.co/YtoLDiZsRC trying to stump someone out of their crease is not in the spirit of the game, cries team that tried (and failed) to do the same thing in the same game.

[Sam Djodan @samdjodan]

Thought we had seen this before. Jonny Bairstow attempting to catch Marnus Labuschagne stepping out of his crease two days ago. #Ashes @wwos @9NewsAUS

[B.C. Miles 🎫 @Rantaloons]

@michaelqtodd @mallyknows @MUFCKnight https://t.co/YtoLDiZsRC And here is Bairstow trying it - *checks notes* 2 days ago.

Everyone wants the rules to apply consistently just not to them.

[Sam Djodan @samdjodan]

Thought we had seen this before. Jonny Bairstow attempting to catch Marnus Labuschagne stepping out of his crease two days ago. #Ashes @wwos @9NewsAUS

[B.C. Miles 🎫 @Rantaloons]

@steveagile75 @smiffym1 @EricIdle Rules for thee but not for me then is it? Let me go fetch you some spikes or boiled sweets for the ball. The difference between Australia and England is that Australia suspend their cheats and England give theirs MBE's.

[B.C. Miles 🎫 @Rantaloons]

@EricIdle @AuNexus6 In the crease?

[B.C. Miles 🎫 @Rantaloons]

@Cobratate @GretaThunberg Massive Kirk Van Houten energy.

[Dr Jordan B Peterson @jordanbpeterson]

And it's getting just impossible to find child porn... :)

[B.C. Miles 🎫 @Rantaloons]

@jwfnqi @Leo_Puglisi6