rayn

[Lucy Rohden @lucy_rohden]

me, someone who started watching male figure skating 3 days ago: "this is the biggest upset our sport has ever seen. i could have never imagined this happening."

[👩‍💻 @weirdassfishes]

My problem is I always want a sparkling lavender lemonade or some bullshit

[Hammond Cheese @HammondCheddar]

Typa shit I be on ngl

[sugarplum @proseluvr]

how the unemployment days flashbacks play in your head the moment you get a job

[Kat Coffin Author @KatinOxford]

Me at ChatGPT:

[wes @ferreirarocher]

the life of a showgirl

[dinosaur @dinosaurs1969]

bartenders the second their hands touch a tv remote

[Sola @Yamasdaughter]

my nervous system is so fried from having immature parents that all my long term life goals now are like “own an emotionally safe and healthy home, enjoy life’s small happy moments, learn to cook for fun and curiosity not obligation and responsibility.”

[uwu @sleeepyhigh]

who just opened a dr pepper
i heard it

[lady brett ashley @margebertha]

do not take me to the beach if you are not getting in the water !!! WE SWIM FR 💯

[the heart @Fredward3948576]

Can you feel me looking at your location on find my friends, do you feel like there’s an angel watching over you

[sealnus @sonicthehehhog]

Just got asked a question at work how about you go fuck yourself buddy I’m literally scrolling on my phone

[L 🇨🇦 @Ann_Hedonia1]

Them: just listen to your body

My body: go back to bed and don’t ever get out

[𝒮𝒾𝑒. ᡣ𐭩 @Cindtrillella]

Don’t know how young some of y’all may have been during this trial but this bitch drugged and duct taped her own 3 year old, daughter, stuffed her in a trunk, dumped her body and then went out and partied afterwards.

They found all this evidence against her and let her off.

[Brody @britmebaby]

Ohhh sorry I don’t find Melania Trump to be a diva I’m unfortunately normal :(

[nate @homoclassical]

Charlotte: I just don't feel safe with a witch flying around!
Samantha: Honey, if sticking wood between your legs and riding it makes you a witch, then I'm in trouble...
Miranda: Why do men always call women with opinions witches?
Carrie: Big is moving to Munchkinland.