Growing up as a young (fine) man, people offered me money a lot.
Sometimes as gifts, for friendship, or relationships. Sometimes for sex or just to have access to me.
But I learned early that free things are rarely free.
When people give you something, even when they don’t say it, there is usually an invisible debt attached. You start owing them time, attention, friendship, companionship, loyalty, or access you may not even want to give.
I hated that position because I like to choose my friends and relationships on my own terms.
There’s a line in David Graeber’s Debt: The First 5,000 Years that stayed with me:
“By gifts one makes slaves and by whips one makes dogs.”
It explains how both can be forms of control. One is just quieter.
Even as a young man, I understood that the giver and the receiver are on two completely different trajectories.
The giver is forced to earn, produce, and create value.
The habitual receiver learns to wait, depend, and slowly become whatever keeps the giver interested.
At some point, you have to release yourself from the take mentality because the longer you live only to receive, the more you train yourself to wait instead of build.
The moment I started earning more, I gave more. I did giveaways here. I paid hospital bills. I even handed my shoe business over to my sales girl. And each time I gave, I earned more.
Refusing free money, rejecting transactional intimacy, and choosing the harder road of becoming the person who could give is the mindset shift that changed my life.
The men drooling all over your picture are also not under their women's picture doing same. Why is his private compliment not enough?
Date the men doing 😍😍😍 first and see if you'll find them in your comments again
📌 Jose Mourinho got sacked
📌 Carlo Ancelotti got sacked
📌 Roberto Di Matteo got sacked
📌 Antonio Conte got sacked
📌 Jose Mourinho came back and still got sacked.
📌 Thomas Tuchel got sacked
📌 Frank Lampard got sacked (A Chelsea legend).
All these coaches didn't make me to start throwing tantrums at people or leave the club because they got sacked, it's you that want to throw tantrums at people, protest and leave the club because Enzo Maresca got sacked.
YOU'RE NOT A SERIOUS FELLOW.
CHELSEA TODAY, TOMORROW AND FOREVER!💙💙💙
You see as 2025 no gel for you, and you're ready to go again in 2026. You see as you chest your L by yourself. You no attribute the L to anybody, and nobody wan take glory for your L.
Don't go and make it tomorrow, and one clown would claim it is their grace and goodluck that make you excel. Dont go and start attributing your success to anybody's grace. Na grace wey no help the person wan help you? Someone or people will help you, and you can actually point to the help they rendered you. You will directly connect the help to your success. The person that accommodated you, the one that submitted your CV and spoke up for you, the person that supported you with finances so you're not overwhelmed, the one that made sure you always had food in your stomach, the one that linked you up with people and opportunities. The ones that always invited you out even though you had no money so you are not depressed.
Somebody sleeping with you is not grace. Grace does not transfer through sex.