The Beach Road Cyclist

I’m all the people that ride Melbourne’s famous Beach Road. I’m a mixed group. I’m passionate without being fit or skilful. I’m ridiculous.

[The Beach Road Cyclist @RealBeachRoad]

How to greet people in seven different locations:

America: Hello
France: Bonjour
Spain: Hola
Italy: Ciao
Portugal: Olá
Romania: Salut
Beach Road: RIDERS UP!

#cycling #cyclinglyf #bikes

[The Beach Road Cyclist @RealBeachRoad]

I own a Trek.
I got my first Trek when Lance Armstrong was winning bike races for fun.
These days my Trek has a “TREK” logo on it that is almost bigger than the bike.
I paid the premium charged by Trek to buy their bike. I am happy to pay for acting as a rolling billboard.
#trek

[The Beach Road Cyclist @RealBeachRoad]

I own and ride a Cervelo.
It was paid for with money, however I refer to myself as being in the “Cervelo Family”.
Could be cousins, maybe siblings, possibly offspring, I’m not sure.
The important thing is that I feel like belong.
I might have daddy issues.
#cervelo

[The Beach Road Cyclist @RealBeachRoad]

Most people refer to their ‘bike’.
I refer to my ‘S-Works’.
Because I own an S-Works.
S-Works.
#sworks

[The Beach Road Cyclist @RealBeachRoad]

I need new pedals, and I am brand aligned to Shimano. I weighed up the pros and cons of Shimano’s range. Dura-Ace and Ultegra were very even.

I disregarded the analysis and bought Dura-Ace because they were more expensive.

#duraace #shimano #cycling #pedals #bikes #dollars

[The Beach Road Cyclist @RealBeachRoad]

I should probably stay in my lane.

#cycling #cyclinglife #cyclinglyf #bike #mtb #roadbike #cyclist #bicycle #bikelife #bikelyf #fitness #roadcycling #mountainbike #strava #memes #outsideisfree #ride #sport #velo #cyclingmemes #bikememes #cyclingshots

[The Beach Road Cyclist @RealBeachRoad]

I enjoy bike meme pages.

They are amusing to me.

I like and share their posts with my group.

I gloss over the fact most of them are talking directly to me. I’m sure they are talking more to other people who are exactly like me.

#cycling #memes #bikememes #bikes #jokesonme

[The Beach Road Cyclist @RealBeachRoad]

I bought a new power meter because my old one under reads.

I’m selling my old one.

Fair chance I’ll be selling another one in a few months time.

This could be a vicious cycle.

#cycling #powermeter #watts #power #quarq #shimano #pioneer #beachroad #bikes #letour

[The Beach Road Cyclist @RealBeachRoad]

I’m exhausted this morning. I couldn’t sleep because LeTour was having a rest day and there was nothing to fall asleep on the couch in front of.

Or it could have been the 5 coffees I had with the bunch during my 2hrs of daily “exercise”.

#cycling #letour #coffee #sleep #covid

[The Beach Road Cyclist @RealBeachRoad]

Good morning Beach Rd! Slight easing in COVID restrictions today. 2hrs of exercise per day up from 1hr.

Or more accurately, twice as long standing near my bike talking to other cyclists and drinking coffee in a blatant lockdown manipulation.

#cycling #coffee #melbourne #covid19

[The Beach Road Cyclist @RealBeachRoad]

I have a habit of buying premium cycling clothing in the size I used to be. Which is a size smaller than I am now.

I try and sell these foolish purchases “as new, bought wrong size by mistake, best ever”

Constant battle as I move up the sizes.

#cycling #apparel #growing #maap

[The Beach Road Cyclist @RealBeachRoad]

For Sale: My disc brake bike.

Wanted to Buy: A rim brake bike.

Riders in LeTour seem to be winning stages on rim brake bikes. It is very important I am in line with the current cycling trends.

#LeTour2020 #TourdeFrance #Cycling #Brakes

[The Beach Road Cyclist @RealBeachRoad]

Day for it on the Beach Road. Tried to chase down tête de la course but ended up back in the peloton. Being the poursuivant isn’t for me. When the peloton dropped me I ended up in the autobus briefly before it was an isolés run home. TLE for me.

#cycling #LeTour #TourdeFrance

[The Beach Road Cyclist @RealBeachRoad]

During Le Tour there will be no water bottles. Bidons only.

#LeTour #TourDeFrance #LeTour2020 #Bidon #WaterBottle #cycling #french #france

[The Beach Road Cyclist @RealBeachRoad]

I bought myself a new bike because it is my birthday next month.

Justifying my purchases only gets easier.

#cycling #bikes #newbike #birthday #beachroad #road #gravel #cx

[The Beach Road Cyclist @RealBeachRoad]

Helmets for Victorian cyclists were made mandatory in 1990. 30 years ago.

That doesn’t stop me from carrying my favourite pro team casquette in my back pocket on all rides.

It helps my Euro image.

Bonjour

#cycking #cap #casquette #cyclingcap #cafe #melbourne

[The Beach Road Cyclist @RealBeachRoad]

The Tour, sorry, LeTour has started. This means I am permitted to wear pro-team kit for 3 weeks.

My water bottle is now a Bidon. The Beach Rd vernacular will contain snippets of French for 3 weeks.

Allez

#LeTour #cycling #french #bidon

[The Beach Road Cyclist @RealBeachRoad]

Northerly winds can be off putting, but they are actually an opportunity.

I start at Port Melbourne and try to set some PBs heading south to Mordialloc.

My wife picks me up from Mordialloc.

#cycling #tailwind #oneway #pickup #beachroad #Mordialloc #port

[The Beach Road Cyclist @RealBeachRoad]

I told my friends that money was a little tight at the moment and I couldn’t join them for dinner at a reasonably priced restaurant.

The next day I spent $1000 on a new crankset that I didn’t need.

#cycling #cranks #crankset #money #beachroad #melbourne

[The Beach Road Cyclist @RealBeachRoad]

I have Shimano Dura-Ace Di2.

My friends have Shimano Ultegra Di2.

I tell my friends that there is no discernible difference between the two high-end models.

I’m lying. The difference is, deep down, I know that I am superior.

#cycling #shimano #ultegra