Junior from Problem Child 1&2

'Hakuna Matata' was a Disney song that meant 'Fuck it.'

[Junior from Problem Child 1&2 @RecorderSolo]

In an interview when someone asks you What are your strengths? it's probably best not to answer Well, my therapist says I've come a long way

[Mykhaïlo Golub @golub]

Happy Pride Month, y’all 🌈

[Junior from Problem Child 1&2 @RecorderSolo]

I don't know what to do with happy New Yorkers. Seems inauthentic.

[Junior from Problem Child 1&2 @RecorderSolo]

Saying this before a major beat down at home is a new level of embarrassing. Jed Hoyer is Backrooms Theo Epstein #cubs

[Kevin Nealon @kevin_nealon]

When my son was 10, he recognized that I was an older father and he was not happy about that, and I never considered that.

I walked into his bedroom one night, I could tell he'd been crying, puffy eyes, tears stained cheek. And I go, what's going on, buddy? Because I don't know his name. I’m never home.

My son said, I've just been thinking, I'm 10 now and you're 63. When I'm 20. You're gonna be 73. When I'm 30. You'll be 83. You won’t be around for a lot of my life. I said. Buddy buddy, buddy. What's his fucking name. I said I’ll be around for a long time. Don't you worry about that.

I'll be around when you graduate. I'll be around when you get married, when you have kids, I’ll be around for all that stuff. You just gotta make it happen in the next four years. Otherwise, yeah, you're probably right. I won't be around. He said, no, I'm serious. Dad.

Dad? he doesn't know my name either.

[Junior from Problem Child 1&2 @RecorderSolo]

Leave it to the Trump administration to hire the mentalist who couldn't see it coming

[Junior from Problem Child 1&2 @RecorderSolo]

If I'm the CMO of Peloton and I were looking to win back people who canceled their subscriptions, I would just send them an email with the subject line, "I bet your body looks like shit now"

[Junior from Problem Child 1&2 @RecorderSolo]

Every job should let you have one time of year where you disrupt a meeting and blurt out, "I'M TIRED OF THINKING ABOUT BUSINESS!"

[Junior from Problem Child 1&2 @RecorderSolo]

@burtgurney @grok

[Junior from Problem Child 1&2 @RecorderSolo]

TERRIBLE IDEAS THAT WILL BECOME YOUR REALITY: Talk therapy with ad breaks*

*Virtual AND in-person

[Junior from Problem Child 1&2 @RecorderSolo]

My favorite Wicked movie is one that not many people have heard of. Kind of a Criterion type. It starred Judy Garland (who was a cult favorite actress), and it was very old-timey, but it's pretty decent. Watch it if you can (good luck finding it).

[Junior from Problem Child 1&2 @RecorderSolo]

@burtgurney Sir, a second strongly worded letter has been drafted by Chuck Schumer

[Junior from Problem Child 1&2 @RecorderSolo]

Op-ed's in Forbes by older white tech CEO's are like:
'Yeah...robots are not replacing us'

Here's why:

[Junior from Problem Child 1&2 @RecorderSolo]

My wife encouraging me to make an emergency therapy appointment after I spend more than one minute scrolling through my LinkedIn news feed

[Junior from Problem Child 1&2 @RecorderSolo]

Why do conspiracy theorists always blame Bill Gates as the diabolical mastermind for implant chip or vaccine collusion? You do know he was behind Outlook and Internet Explorer, right?

[Junior from Problem Child 1&2 @RecorderSolo]

If I opened a gym business it would be called "Whatever, I'll Just Workout After Dinner, Fitness"

[Junior from Problem Child 1&2 @RecorderSolo]

"Hi, I'm Blippi! And today we are in a neglected basement apartment in Chinatown buying a forged passport!! Heeheehee"

[Eyes Left @EyesLeftPod]

Ok men tactical formation, we’re going potty

[Junior from Problem Child 1&2 @RecorderSolo]

Coworker: How was your Christm-

(Throws hot coffee in face)

[Junior from Problem Child 1&2 @RecorderSolo]

@nocontextcfb

[Junior from Problem Child 1&2 @RecorderSolo]

"Santa is broken. " - my 3 -year-old on Christmas Eve