Paul Miller

I put on a clean pair of socks each day. At the end of the week, my shoes don't fit any more.

[Paul Miller @Red_Eyes]

Hello?

[Paul Miller @Red_Eyes]

My that was a long sleep. hav I missed much?

[Paul Miller @Red_Eyes]

George Osborne: "We will not be blown off course by bad weather". Bad choice of metaphor? http://bit.ly/eg5s4m @10oClockLive

[Paul Miller @Red_Eyes]

In an average day, everyone in Britain will see 23 references to eating chicken. @Wikiballs

[Paul Miller @Red_Eyes]

You see, the doctor said "whatever you do, don't scratch". So I just did because it was itching and now I have a hole in my foot, dear Liza.

[Paul Miller @Red_Eyes]

I don't understand this offside rule nonsense. Here is a perfectly good explanation. I remain none the wiser, though! http://bit.ly/81HqK

[Paul Miller @Red_Eyes]

Just passed my 500th Tweet. Nearly every one not a winner. This is worth the wait to the end: http://youtu.be/TylvUGJIi_w

[Paul Miller @Red_Eyes]

Train driver announces: "This is a semi to Mill Hill". I hope he means "semi-fast"!

[Paul Miller @Red_Eyes]

A biased comment from the BBC? "A rat has been seen scuttling outside the door of Number 10 on two TV news bulletins." http://bbc.in/eP8YPV

[Paul Miller @Red_Eyes]

@10oClockLive Another biased comment from the BBC? "A rat has been seen scuttling outside the door of Number 10" http://bbc.in/eP8YPV

[Paul Miller @Red_Eyes]

Can't sleep. Not a sheep in sight!

[Paul Miller @Red_Eyes]

That dream last night about eating a giant marshmallow... Pillow also seems to have gone AWOL.

[Paul Miller @Red_Eyes]

Managed to escape one chore this weekend as the measuring tape went AWOL. Am instructed to buy another tomorrow. Must not forget. Must not.

[Paul Miller @Red_Eyes]

Rudely awakened at 08:00am by an automated phone system. #Grr. I'm sure I was just about to eat a giant marshmallow too!

[Paul Miller @Red_Eyes]

@alexispratsides They RT'd me too! My 15 minutes of fame!

[Paul Miller @Red_Eyes]

Just been to see the film about King George VI with Mrs Miller III

[Paul Miller @Red_Eyes]

As well as the Plod "looking after" Mrs Johnson, here's another one who couldn't keep his trunction under control: http://bbc.in/dI50Bw

[Paul Miller @Red_Eyes]

Dreamt I was on holiday in Mexico. No idea! The reality of my day is cleaning the house ahead of week long visit by the mother-in-law. Joy!

[Paul Miller @Red_Eyes]

I'm going to have a shower with James Wood Johnson and Edward Mead Johnson and then I'm off to bed. G'night!

[Paul Miller @Red_Eyes]

BBC website headline: "We are united on deficit - Balls". Not the sort of language we are used to from Auntie...but these are strange times!