ReeMcgee

I need .44 caliber bullets for my magnum dong

[ReeMcgee @ReeMcgee3]

Cashier: That will be $17.36.

The horse I just cursed to spew sand for the rest of eternity:

[Mr. Gingles @GinglesMr]

Throwing beer bottles at my gf because I love her

[🔮Momo🎀 @FaithInViolet]

managers asked me how long I'm working today and when I told them 12 hours they looked at me like this like they werent the ones who made the schedule

[The Archmother @SapphiraMothera]

Anything but defending Yellow Walker

[Wavy @Wavy667_]

I genuinely love this community holy fuckg I'm crying

[The Troubadour 🐦‍⬛ @GripAshford]

ty yoshi

[Stories Mama ✋ COMISSIONS OPEN ✋ @Ada2987_art]

Khezu... no Wumpus being eaten ecology cutscene

[Moe 🧊 @MoeKJV1611jaja]

His eyes were a striking blue, like blue Gatorade, and his cheeks were flushed, like red Gatorade. His demeanor was mysterious, yet refreshing, like yellow Gatorade. And his shirt was the hue of orange Gatorade

[realyuriyearners @realyuriyearns]

the mousegirl bartender gave me my drink by balancing it on her head and saying "for you it's on the mouse" but afterwards she made me pay for it which undermined the pun so i ended up waiting in the back alley for her shift to end and i shot her twelve times.

[star | RELAPSING @glossdiet]

michael wants to know if you wanna hit the pen

[Celina 52 Truck Stop @celinatruckstop]

Long-Time customer Ms. Eunice was banned for life this morning after bringing oatmeal from home to eat on our patio. Eunice knows damn well we have wide variety of tolerable breakfast items available for purchase.

As this completely defeats the purpose of our partnership with Quaker Oats, Ms. Eunice can eat at home like a normal person for the rest of her meaningless existence.

[Mr. Gingles @GinglesMr]

Me with the little gnome I found frolicking in the woods

[tagger @taggerbachi]

old wyverian- "bro lao shan lung destroyed of suja its so over"
hunter- "man things changed"

nata-

[I eat short people @UnderwearStain]

Going on shark tank and as my pitch i just slowly insert a ballpoint pen up my urethra in complete silence while they watch me

[𝕏avier: Renegade Hydrapple @drxavie60848658]

You already know theres going to be something unfathomably evil in this Expansion if were making Double Offsets a thing

[Marceline @VariableChaser]

🚨🚨BREAKING🚨🚨 Over 4000 copies of Throne of Eldraine Food Token #18 have been recalled due to potential glistening oil contamination

[ReeMcgee @ReeMcgee3]

no lube, no protection, all night, all day, from the kitchen floor to the toilet seat, from the dining table to the bedroom, from the bathroom sink to the shower, from the front porch to the balcony, vertically, horizontally-

[Lycaons husband @Lycaonpitsnifer]

A lot of people want John doe to bottom but I need him to top me badly

[snow @ASPDREAMS]

i'm crying