CapAble PrimeApe

36.8 pfs processor, 2.5 pb memory.

Cheeses Christ, I'm Sofa Kingdom.

[CapAble PrimeApe @RefinedPrimitiv]

But the most wonderful thing about tiggers is
There can be only one!
#Highlander

[CapAble PrimeApe @RefinedPrimitiv]

@midnight #HashtagWars
#supernaturalTVshows

Alien McBeal

[CapAble PrimeApe @RefinedPrimitiv]

Guys, if she whips out her partyboob, be careful! It's a backwards boobytrap!

[CapAble PrimeApe @RefinedPrimitiv]

I order my coffee like I date women - Forgetting which name I used then not responding when they say my name.

[CapAble PrimeApe @RefinedPrimitiv]

If I started a food truck, I would call it Va Te Faire Food Truck.

[CapAble PrimeApe @RefinedPrimitiv]

If there were an awards show for serial killers, the red carpet would be like, "OMG, who's blood are you wearing?"

[CapAble PrimeApe @RefinedPrimitiv]

Genius

[CapAble PrimeApe @RefinedPrimitiv]

If 13 is an unlucky number, does that mean -13 is lucky?

[CapAble PrimeApe @RefinedPrimitiv]

They should just rename #Chipotle whatever the Spanish phrase is for "We're out of that."

[CapAble PrimeApe @RefinedPrimitiv]

@LilChamppp https://t.co/q9nSmpB8Mc

[CapAble PrimeApe @RefinedPrimitiv]

I just earned the 'Beer of the World' badge on @untappd! https://t.co/Z5PVYCFAR8

[CapAble PrimeApe @RefinedPrimitiv]

I just earned the 'Middle of the Road (Level 5)' badge on @untappd! https://t.co/6ZJWKewcnJ

[CapAble PrimeApe @RefinedPrimitiv]

I just earned the 'Cheers To You! (Level 7)' badge on @untappd! https://t.co/W1fWqu3haJ

[CapAble PrimeApe @RefinedPrimitiv]

If Santa takes two bites of each cookie served around the world, he consumes roughly 336,150,386 cookies.

[CapAble PrimeApe @RefinedPrimitiv]

Hey, this song caught my attention! — ♫Scarlet Begonias [Live in New Jersey, April 1, 1988] by @grateful__dead, from #SoundHound https://m…

[CapAble PrimeApe @RefinedPrimitiv]

With all these companies dropping (Kan)Ye West, he should change his name to Kan'tYe.

[CapAble PrimeApe @RefinedPrimitiv]

Hey #Dupixent, your jingle is so lame I mute the TV every time.

[CapAble PrimeApe @RefinedPrimitiv]

Why don't they just make pepperoni the size of pizzas?

[CapAble PrimeApe @RefinedPrimitiv]

I just earned the 'Cheers to Independent U.S. Craft Breweries (Level 3)' badge on @untappd! https://t.co/jeHrXlW1Sp

[CapAble PrimeApe @RefinedPrimitiv]

I just earned the 'Cheers To You! (Level 6)' badge on @untappd! https://t.co/ez3FyN4Fcg

[CapAble PrimeApe @RefinedPrimitiv]

Hey, this song caught my attention! — ♫Margaritaville by @officialjackson, from #SoundHound https://t.co/qqguJ8ICtK