yeah draw for yourself etc etc I have that mantra for ages, but if you have that main thinking, then why do I still share my stuff online? so honestly I still have that aching small thing
If anything, it's because a lot of Filipinos doesn't value and appreciate art anymore. Majority of people you'll see as clients are either people who love art but cannot afford much or people who can afford but won't spend no more than $10-20 and will ask full illustrations 😭
It's that very small prickly spot in the back of my mind where I feel this body isn't mine and I'm living in an alternative universe.
Maybe more past events made me live in the alternative universes I made myself, who knows
It's hard honestly LRT. I guess it's mix of upbringing and maybe underlying mental issues I have that isn't diagnosed... I honestly don't know
I shouldn't be here at age of 19
I'm in my mid twenties now