Rickon Stark

Nobody understands me.
(Not affiliated w/ HBO® or Game of Thrones)

[Osha @OshaTheWildling]

@theSamwellTarly We're actually in a snow globe that a little boy named Rickon is playing with. #StWesteros

[Rickon Stark @RickonStark]

Sometimes I stare at the back of Osha's head and imagine alien worlds blanketed in trees with split ends. And giant fleas. Girl is dirty.

[Rickon Stark @RickonStark]

One cool thing about being dragged around by a girl with a serious frizz problem is the heap of time it gives me to plot world domination.

[Rickon Stark @RickonStark]

But really: where the fuck am I, even? Osha, are you baked? This place smells like cat pee. Wildlings blow. Shaggy and I wanna bounce.

[Rickon Stark @RickonStark]

I felt a great disturbance in the world, as if millions of chickens suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. #squawk

[Rickon Stark @RickonStark]

I met a turnip saleswoman. Said I reminded her of her dead son. I asked if she wanted to be my mom. She was talking to the orphan behind me.

[Rickon Stark @RickonStark]

I just made a COOOOL WolfMan action figure out of twigs and rocks. I'm gonna mail it to Robb (on a roided-out pigeon) so he won't forget me!

[Rickon Stark @RickonStark]

My goddamn paraplegic brother said "Goodbye, uhm... Jackon?" before I left, and then Hodor shrugged. Fuck my life. Time to drink. Woo! Die.

[Rickon Stark @RickonStark]

"FUCK YO' WHACK-ASS RABBITS. INVISI-RICKON ONLY WANT ORGANIC PRODUCE UP IN THIS BITCH," is what I'd say if I wasn't busy plotting my escape.

[Rickon Stark @RickonStark]

It's tough masterminding complete and total revenge on society while eating roots and random fungi. Frightful lack of booze doesn't help.

[Rickon Stark @RickonStark]

And I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there; I'll tell you how I became the prince of being left in the woods starving and ignored.

[Rickon Stark @RickonStark]

This is a story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside down...

[Rickon Stark @RickonStark]

Another day, another epileptic total-fucking-stranger getting more attention than I've received in the last lifetime. #GameOfTwitching

[Rickon Stark @RickonStark]

I'm in a moat, I'm in a moat - everybody look at me 'cause I'm drowning in a moat! Haha, just kidding. I'm starving and cold in some woods.

[Rickon Stark @RickonStark]

#drunkwithmydoginthewoods #dogisseriouslydrunk #iamageniusandmydogiscompletelyinebriated #gameofthrones

[Rickon Stark @RickonStark]

STOP HOGGIN' THE SAUCE, SHAGGYDOG. One of these *hic* days...POW! Right in the kisser. Aw, you're so cu-*hic* cu-*hic* cute. Fuck.

[Rickon Stark @RickonStark]

Y'all needa *hic* unnerstan' that bein' drunk 'n' invisbibbel *hic* iddin't the same as bein' dead. That said... *hic* please kill me now.

[Rickon Stark @RickonStark]

@Lady_Sansa Wait. You get name day cards?

[Rickon Stark @RickonStark]

@PrincesMyrcella @OshaTheWildling Implying it actually matters to any of you whether I'm alive or dead.

[Rickon Stark @RickonStark]

I communicate in short, unexpected bursts, not unlike a child suddenly dashing at you with a pitchfork as you approach the wine cellar.