Alexis Rutledge

Stand up Comedian & Bartender 🫡//Please love your dogs extra for me

[Alexis Rutledge @Rideslikealexus]

The results are in: this ass is still fat.

[Alexis Rutledge @Rideslikealexus]

Including playing the news at full volume as atmosphere

[Alexis Rutledge @Rideslikealexus]

Doing an open mic at a bar I don’t like and MAN they’re so good at being so shitty

[Alexis Rutledge @Rideslikealexus]

FUCK YEAAAAAAAH

[Alexis Rutledge @Rideslikealexus]

This country sucks but nothing makes me feel more national pride than a demolition derby. 🫡

[Alexis Rutledge @Rideslikealexus]

Left my food at work and I’m almost tempted to drive back and get it…

Too bad it’s 3:30am and the couch and a joint are calling

[Alexis Rutledge @Rideslikealexus]

“Nachos is Mexican lasagna”

[The Sklar Brothers @SklarBrothers]

Roasting a city near you! ON TOUR, see the same white guy twice:

7/24-25: Ft. Collins, Co
8/14-15: Escondido, CA

#sanfrancisco #california #comedian #standup #travel

[Alexis Rutledge @Rideslikealexus]

County Fair art & Feathered Friends

[Watcher @wearewatcher]

Two bros, chilling in a bar in Key West.

[Alexis Rutledge @Rideslikealexus]

The dog spotting has been great the last couple days 🤠

[Alexis Rutledge @Rideslikealexus]

They’re playing hard dubstep in this Super Duper.

Hell yeah my guys.

[Alexis Rutledge @Rideslikealexus]

THEN HAD THE AUDACITY TO BE MAD WHEN I TOLD HIM “I NEED PAYMENT FOR YOUR 160 DOLLAR ROUND”. “Do not rush me!” BITCH- I AM WORKING AND BUSY. AND YOUR CHOICE OF SHOTS IS A BAD ONE. YOUR OPINION MEANS NOTHING TO ME.

[Alexis Rutledge @Rideslikealexus]

Told a guy his total at the bar and he asked to pay with Apple Pay, so I said okay, I need to take your phone to the reader (it’s built into the register behind the counter) and he said okay and then CHECKED GRINDR INSTEAD OF PAYING FOR A FULL 30 SECONDS.

[Alexis Rutledge @Rideslikealexus]

Saw a homeless jerk off staring into a closed cheese shop. Fetishes are getting crazier and crazier.

San Francisco, never change.

[Alexis Rutledge @Rideslikealexus]

I always forget that Maes Hughes is 29 in Full Metal Alchemist.

Homie should have been at the club :(

[Thick Saban ✨ @RaveenTheDream]

Man this administration doing 150 years of damage in 2 years is crazy.

[Alexis Rutledge @Rideslikealexus]

My fatal flaw is that if ciabatta is on the menu, even if it makes the burger/ sandwich worse, I WILL get it.

Top tier bread. *chefs kiss*

[adam @rupertpubkin]

All my Californians. Please Vote Steyer today.

[Alexis Rutledge @Rideslikealexus]

“Can you brûlée a peep?”