Riley Sanderson

An apple a day will keep anyone away if you throw it hard enough. UST ‘21

[Riley Sanderson @RileySnderson]

@GraysonSanders5 @brfootball @Matt_Law_DT Seasons over

[Riley Sanderson @RileySnderson]

No one here knows I just shit myself

[Riley Sanderson @RileySnderson]

@cmfdolla I want a mcchicken :( -Sarah

[Riley Sanderson @RileySnderson]

One good thing about being an adult is I can walk into a furniture store and sample the massage chairs without being asked to leave

[LoCo💭 @coltoltheii]

Bruh training to be a motorcycle

[Riley Sanderson @RileySnderson]

One time a cute waitress at Olive Garden asked me if I wanted “the soup or salad” and I thought she said “the super salad” so I said sure and now I can never go back to that place

[Riley Sanderson @RileySnderson]

Plankton from spongebob is the sad embodyment of a capitalistic society indifferent to the struggles of the mediocre restaurant proprietor

[Riley Sanderson @RileySnderson]

A treadmill is just a domesticated sidewalk

[Riley Sanderson @RileySnderson]

@TurnerKuhn What a Wonderful World- Louis Armstrong

[Riley Sanderson @RileySnderson]

@ellie_lehto I’ll fight u on this

[Riley Sanderson @RileySnderson]

unpopular opinion: Die Hard is the best Christmas movie

[Neil deGrasse Tyson @neiltyson]

Born before Edwin Hubble discovered the expanding universe, he ultimately created an expanding universe of his own - one of scientifically literate superheroes such as Spider-Man , The Hulk, Iron Man, & Black Panther.
Stan Lee RIP: 1922 - 2018

[Logan from Logans Roadhouse @LogansRoadHouze]

Hey.... You're welcome

[Riley Sanderson @RileySnderson]

I love when an exam asks for my name cuz I know that’s one question I can’t get wrong

[Riley Sanderson @RileySnderson]

Person: Wow Travis Scott is such a good rapper!!

Me: it’s actually pronounced “Michael Scott”..

[Riley Sanderson @RileySnderson]

Whenever someone holds their breath underwater in a movie I try to hold my breath too just to see if I would survive

[Riley Sanderson @RileySnderson]

The most joyous of occasions, happy birthday to a stand up guy 🎉@adelman_austin