Riley

I got thoughts

[Riley @RileySt0ner]

For my birthday can you just pay my parking ticket, apply for my health insurance and find me an apartment thxxxxxxx

[Riley @RileySt0ner]

Thinking about getting mutton chops

[Riley @RileySt0ner]

If I contort my naked body in a specific way I look like gollum. And I have to live with that.

[Riley @RileySt0ner]

And by new year new me did you mean a more physically and mentally ill version than before

[Riley @RileySt0ner]

My mom ain’t ever trying to have a conversation with me until I’m on the toilet or in the shower

[Riley @RileySt0ner]

Drank a celsius n fell asleep an hour later, my body is a temple 🙏

[Riley @RileySt0ner]

I’m only ever late so I can remember how badly you want me there

[Riley @RileySt0ner]

Just found out I have a medicine cabinet.. really thought it was just a mirror

[Riley @RileySt0ner]

I know when my family is going to sleep because one by one they all turn on their max volume brown noise

[Riley @RileySt0ner]

The flight attendant just gasped at the state of my boarding pass

[Riley @RileySt0ner]

I know a pickpocketer isn’t gonna find shit in my bag because I can’t even

[Riley @RileySt0ner]

I fell down the stairs and Alex thought it was a bit

[Riley @RileySt0ner]

If I ever tell you a story forgetting we experienced it together… just know I barely experienced it myself

[Riley @RileySt0ner]

I’m paying my uggo dues today so I can be beautiful tomorrow

[Riley @RileySt0ner]

Idk if the guy in the back chain smoking cigarettes made this 3 hour bus trip smell better or worse

[Riley @RileySt0ner]

I leave for one day and Alex is posting his ass on the internet

[Riley @RileySt0ner]

Ya’ll make wishes on ur eyelashes, I make wishes on my neck mole hair, we are not the same

[Riley @RileySt0ner]

Just called a street an aisle in my head, she love to shop 😭

[Riley @RileySt0ner]

If someone ever tells you “I’m a very curious person” just know they questions boutta be shit

[Riley @RileySt0ner]

Yall ever have a cursed ass interaction and then have to move on with ur life as if it never happened