Aspiring Dr Doofenshmirtz Impersonator

Baker. Writer. Pun enthusiast. I also support procrastinating, but that can wait.

[xChocoBars @xChocoBars]

I LOVE the holidays and I’m grateful to @LogitechG for the chance to giveaway a PRO Series bundle!🎄
🗓️ Enter by 12/30
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Wishing you a warm holiday season ❄️✨

#LogitechGPartner #TisTheSeasonToPlay

[Wanda Wifey 🧁🍪🐈 @TheHousewifeHS]

🚨GIVEAWAY 🐉INTO THE EMERALD DREAM Pre-Purchase Bundle #ad provided by Blizzard
@PlayHearthstone
🌳60 packs and 2 Legendary cards
🌳Ysera Card Back
Follow me here and on Twitch https://t.co/O9Yx4lFxL2 & RT
☁️WINNER 👉March 23rd 😶‍🌫️
(MORE ON STREAM)

[Nate Bear @NateB_Panic]

Turns out Musk's starlink satellites are raining out of orbit at a rate of 120 per month and each one produces 30 kilograms of aluminum oxide which eats away at the ozone layer and these oxides have increased 8 fold in the atmosphere since 2016👍

[Kylie Cheung @kylietcheung]

Rick Scott’s policies torture and kill the poor sick and vulnerable en masse but god FORBID someone be upset about that, that’s the real violence in a society that normalized and even glorifies state violence

[Ren Okami @Ren_Okamii]

The piece of shit scumbag who attacked cinna, valkyrae, emiru, emily and rosii is the same guy they took a photo with earlier and changed his clothes later. What a damn loser.

[Nature is Amazing ☘️ @AMAZlNGNATURE]

Bro the bear ate the snack more gently than my own dog 😭

[Emma Vigeland @EmmaVigeland]

I cannot tell you how much it infuriates me to see this unelected billionaire knowingly smear arguably our most important social program -- Social Security keeps two-thirds of our elderly out of poverty, able to eat, pay their bills, etc -- to an audience of millions. Unchecked.

[☸️🌿sardine thief @mojishakenbake]

"China before Communism" is the funniest shit ever because the entire thing is like "we used to ride dragons everywhere and be able to shoot fireballs with Qigong but then the CCP stole our jing powered spaceships"

[Kristi Yamaguccimane @TheWapplehouse]

🚨HOLY COW: President Trump announces he will be REMOVING ALL golden retrievers that are currently playing basketball on NBA rosters.

[I Smoked A Predilection For Nipples @BlackKnight10k]

My god man. Everyone on planet earth has dirt on Republicans except for democrats

[Caroline Renard @carolinerenard_]

Stop calling it the Roman salute. Stop normalizing and sanitizing the Nazi Salute.

[m @msnetik]

Shark Tale (2004) is everywhere for those with the eyes to see

[Ruqaiya @ruqaiya_h]

We are to believe that returning bodies in coffins is more disrespectful and deplorable than this?

[RopesToInfinity @RopesToInfinity]

Hope the guys making this thing are recording a bunch of increasingly ominous audio logs about the process onto individual USB sticks and scattering them around the facility

[inqilāb @tastefullysaucy]

Luigi’s lawyer says she was learning about his case from an HBO documentary bc the police wont share the evidence they claim to have but they’re sharing it on HBO. They’re working to make sure he doesnt get a fair trial & I feel like the focus should be more on this than his look

[microplastics nanobubbler @facetedcarapace]

I remember father's day 2020 holding up an iPad for a father of 3 so his kids could say goodbye to him remotely. Their sobs coming out of tiny tablet speakers is a sound I won't ever forget.

[Ron Filipkowski @RonFilipkowski]

Posted minutes after the Commander of the ISS said Musk lied about the stranded astronauts in his Fox interview with Trump.