Rob Averill

I'm a financier... of fun things like schemes and pranks and such. All Tweets and Thoughts My Own (He/Him)

[Rob Averill @Rob_Averill]

Tbh my in-laws are lowkey SICK lol

[Rob Averill @Rob_Averill]

Safely covered both bases I feel like 🤷🏼‍♂️

[Rob Averill @Rob_Averill]

GIVE ME YOUR FUCKING MONEY GOD DAMNIT

[Rob Averill @Rob_Averill]

Wild just how much convenience can sway consumers.

Don’t get me wrong — I love Cinnabon. And I shopped at target last week

But if my friend owned a bait shop, I’m not buying my poles from Walmart

[Rob Averill @Rob_Averill]

If I dress it up nicely, is a bottle of wine an appropriate workplace gift?

Like it’s still IN a wine-sleeve-giftbag-thing? But dressed up

I’m good, right?

Someone on the internet validate me pls

[Rob Averill @Rob_Averill]

If I drove an emergency vehicle I would replace the siren with “Move Bitch”

[Rob Averill @Rob_Averill]

I might consider going to see a fast and furious movie if they silently just went back to racing cars and stealing DVD players

[Rob Averill @Rob_Averill]

@eyeball_trey @KEEMSTAR I get the confusion because she’s taller than him. But my guy is clearly into young women lol

[Rob Averill @Rob_Averill]

@amazingatheist Maybe he justifiably harassed and strangled her 🤷🏼‍♂️

[Rob Averill @Rob_Averill]

@RealCandaceO MY SON could be held responsible for raping someone?!

That’s not a world I want to live in

[Rob Averill @Rob_Averill]

Terror on the Prairie FLOPS and now Candace Owens is defending Harvey Weinstein lol 🤔

[Candace Owens @RealCandaceO]

For those who didn’t follow the case—the Italian actress who accused Weinstein of rape was caught lying multiple times on the stand. The prosecution was not even able to place Harvey at her hotel.

This particular conviction is not based on a single shred of evidence.

[Rob Averill @Rob_Averill]

@mintberryjaz I was absolutely insufferable during her performance

“I know this song!”
“I’ve seen her 3 times in concert”
“Oh this song SLAPS”
“Oh, THIS song is so good”
“I saw her do this song live. In concert. I’ve seen her 3 times”

[Rob Averill @Rob_Averill]

I feel like gambling addicts just never took a basic high school statistics class

Cause otherwise they’d very clearly be able to grasp the futility of the odds and thus make better decisions

[Rob Averill @Rob_Averill]

@mintberryjaz

[Rob Averill @Rob_Averill]

@RealCandaceO If I had the most powerful imaging satellite and modern day history, I would also use balloons to spy on people

Your audience is hilariously gullible lol

[Rob Averill @Rob_Averill]

A man gets literally beaten to death gang-style (by the police) and you’re like “but look at this truck” lol

[Jack Posobiec @JackPosobiec]

BREAKING: A black truck driver pleads with protesters to clear the Mississippi River bridge in Memphis so he can get to work

They refuse

[Rob Averill @Rob_Averill]

Like you can just go inside and sell your wares? Whatever they may be?

And you can haggle?!

This is an IRL video game merchant.

[Rob Averill @Rob_Averill]

Wait, so a pawnshop is essentially just the real life version of a video game merchant and I’m just discovering this right now????