Robin Williams

This is a parody account and is no way affiliated with the real Robin Williams. I'm here to have fun and bring you along for the ride.

[Robin Williams @RobbyWilliams_]

Haha @TheBenchLife is so funny! I'm laughing at everything he tweets! Go see for yourself!

[Jim Carrey @ImJimCarrey]

LADIES: If you're trying to look hot remember to flush...
http://t.co/kgtsfups

[Jim Carrey @ImJimCarrey]

I choose you...NIGGACHU!
http://t.co/9L0Iy75A

[Jim Carrey @ImJimCarrey]

Taking a shower:
2 minutes of washing your hair and body...
28 minutes of thinking how cool it would be to be a superhero...

[Jim Carrey @ImJimCarrey]

S.C.H.O.O.L=
Seven crappy hours of our life..
C.L.A.S.S=
Come late and start sleeping..
F.I.N.A.L.S=
Fuck, I never actually learned shit..

[Jim Carrey @ImJimCarrey]

Drunk people run through stops signs while High people wait for them to turn green.

[Jim Carrey @ImJimCarrey]

Why is there a show called "When Animals Attack"? It should be called "When Stupid People go Near Dangerous Animals"...

[Robin Williams @RobbyWilliams_]

Go follow my brother from another mother @ImJimCarrey now! So funny! Go!

[Robin Williams @RobbyWilliams_]

That awkward moment when there's no money in your birthday card and you still have to act excited...

[Robin Williams @RobbyWilliams_]

Drunk people run through stop signs, while high people wait for them to turn green.

[Robin Williams @RobbyWilliams_]

If you wanna dump your GF/BF here's how you do it:
You: Wanna see a magic trick?
Them: Sure.
You: POOF! Your single!

Works every time.

[Robin Williams @RobbyWilliams_]

Twilight's like soccer. They run around for 2 hours, nobody scores, and the millions of fans insist you just don't understand.

[Robin Williams @RobbyWilliams_]

How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just Juan.

[Robin Williams @RobbyWilliams_]

Why do we call it "A word to the wise"? I thought we were trying to help out the stupid...

[Robin Williams @RobbyWilliams_]

Remember when somebody annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown, but it takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch slap that person.

[Robin Williams @RobbyWilliams_]

People say you can't live without love... I think oxygen is a little more important.

[Robin Williams @RobbyWilliams_]

The police are looking for a guy that is sexy, funny, and great in bed.

You're safe but, where the hell should I hide?!

[Robin Williams @RobbyWilliams_]

Fact: 79,000,000 people are having sexual intercourse right now.
Fact: 58,000,000 are kissing.
Fact: 1 lonely person is reading this.

[Robin Williams @RobbyWilliams_]

I would rather cuddle then have sex. If you're good with grammar, you'll get it.

[Robin Williams @RobbyWilliams_]

My way of "Cleaning" is putting stuff in less obvious places...