Ron Crocker

Currently a New Relic Fellow and Architect @ New Relic. Former employers include Bell Labs and Motorola. 35 +/- patents. he/him. Opinions are mine alone.

[Ron Crocker @RonCrocker]

I've added the last bit I will ever need. IYKYK.

[Ron Crocker @RonCrocker]

Thanks to Motorola for sending me to all kinds of places and to Ellen for tagging along as we finished the journey.

[Ron Crocker @RonCrocker]

This flight (UA 2) from Singapore to San Francisco makes me a 1 million miler on United. The captain greeted me in my seat and presented me with a card signed by the crew and a comparative coin. @united

[Ron Crocker @RonCrocker]

@techgirl1908 My dad died almost 20 years ago and I’ve moved his contact around on every device I’ve had since then.

I don’t need his contact to remember his phone number, but that’s not why I keep it around. I keep it because when I stumble on his contact it makes me smile.

[Ron Crocker @RonCrocker]

@gwenshap We’ve been doing Hello Fresh the past 6 months - 4 meals a week. It’s been tasty and not too difficult to make. Doesn’t save you any money 🙁 but we don’t go to the grocery store🙂

[Ron Crocker @RonCrocker]

Nope, we got nothing. It tracks every fucking leaf that blows by or a spider giving us the finger, but a big ass Jeep slamming into a streetlight isn’t interesting enough to keep.

This is what we see - light falls over “on its own.”

[Ron Crocker @RonCrocker]

Someone crashed into the street light across the street from my house. But we have a Ring video doorbell so we have a video of the whole thing, right.

Right?

[Ron Crocker @RonCrocker]

You: And you do this once?
Me: F*** no, 6 f***ing times, with 6 different services.

[Ron Crocker @RonCrocker]

A team I support just migrated (and upgraded Postgres versions for) six databases from IBM cloud to AWS. The team absolutely knocked it out the park, because they practiced and overcame myriad challenges when it didn't matter to make it easy when it did matter.

[Ron Crocker @RonCrocker]

Me: But this is the best part - this is brilliant - we make it visible in the AWS console to give you f***ing hope. You'll be there, whacking away at the security groups, banging your head against the wall, and ping won't work because the security groups don't allow it.

[Ron Crocker @RonCrocker]

Good job @united on the new United Club @ EWR (near C123). Awesome space, as nice as some of the Polaris lounges.

[Ron Crocker @RonCrocker]

@jp4gs Can you be specific about which "government" is responsible for this system? The state of Mississippi? Hinds county? The city of Jackson? Some other authority (IDK, a water district or something like that)?

Hold them accountable!

[Ron Crocker @RonCrocker]

Feeling the need to vent a little bit: As a technical leader, it definitely pushes one of my buttons when companies say "leader" but they really mean "manager;" what they're telling me is that they only value managers are leaders.

[Antón @antonmry]

Very happy to speak for the first time in @P99CONF. I learned a lot in the last edition. Highly recommended!

I'm very excited about this new talk. OpenTelemetry is a great addition to your tool belt!

[Ron Crocker @RonCrocker]

Come hear me talk at #FlinkForward about how I replaced a very expensive Redis cluster with a substantially less expensive Flink cluster, using one of the more mysterious Flink capabilities to make it real. (I'm such a #flinkfanboi)

[Flink Forward @FlinkForward]

🌠 Breakout Session Highlight 🌠
Make sure to register for #flinkforward San Francisco 2022 and hear how @newrelic reduced the cost of their #Flink application by ~90% by implementing a stateful streaming application leveraging Flink's Queryable State!
https://t.co/YfUliPo55f

[Debbie Mia @ Likely a Nap @TheDebbieMia]

They found the cause of SIDS
THEY FOUND THE CAUSE OF SIDS

Excuse me while I cry for all the parents, including lead researcher Dr Carmel Harrington, who lived with guilt. And cry happy tears for parents in the future who will have access to screening and prevention. 😭